The Brain & The Beauty The R Version
by Ronin2
Summary: Someone's kissed Daria....and it ain't Tom nor Trent. It's the new R version for FF.Net
1. A Bet's A Bet

THE BRAIN & THE BEAUTY (The R version)  
  
Before you, is the R version of my original NC17 story  
The Brain & The Beauty; those of you that wish the original uncensored  
NC17 version, here's the address for it:   
http://www.gamerspage.com/thea_zara/mdd/ronin/tbatb.htm  
  
It can also be found on the site Mistress Daria's Dungeon,  
different strokes for different folks, be it NC17 or R.  
The choice is yours.  
I hope I did my best in making my creation safe for R standards   
for the likes of all sites that bar NC17 stories, so here it is.  
  
First things first: Daria is a trademark of MTV, whatever you  
like it or not.  
  
Jill Sobule's I Kissed A Girl is (c) 1994 Warner Tamerlane  
Publishing Corp. & I'll Show You Publishing & Left Right  
Left Music, sub published by Bug Music (BMI)  
Neil Young's Sample & Hold is (c) Silver Fiddle Music (BMI)  
  
Here before you, is my first Daria hentai of  
shoujo ai yuri, so if some of you Daria stalwarts   
believe that concept of girls love turns   
you off, don't bother. And for those of you that remain.........  
behold my dream pairing, since the days of Gystex' The Passion  
Club. Keep in mind that Daria and the gal she's earmarked to meet  
would NEVER do such a thing, but like they say, never say never....  
after all, no one thought a Jane/Quinn pairing was possible, until   
along came Pseftis' Mornings Ever After. And how can we forget   
LyinTamer's forgettable Night Of The Storm--now THAT (the Daria/  
Quinn pairing) is even more unlikely than the one I've got in mind.  
One could say that my story is my answer to Night Of The Storm,  
but without the incest--but, no...........  
Just advice is what I need, not flames. They could help if I should   
improve as I go along, eh? When it comes to love, almost   
anything is possible.  
Anyhow, my story is dedicated to Mike Yamiolkoski, Ruthless Bunny,  
Roger E. Moore, Martin J. Pollard, Brandon League, The Waco Kid,  
Chris Oakley, and all the other Daria stalwarts that gave their all, or  
words to that effect.....  
--Weenie Hut Jr.  
  
1: ON THE FIRST DAY (A Bet's A Bet)  
  
On the first day of the week, in the halls of Lawndale High, it was  
business as usual for The Partners In Crime, a.k.a. Daria and Jane.  
"Did you see last night's broadcast of Sick Sad World?" asked Jane.  
"You mean the article on lesbians?" said the bespecticled cynic  
known as Daria. "Somehow that don't go in well with the stuff we  
all knew and loved--cheese fries, video game soundtracks, Sick  
Sad World, and glow in the dark stars and galaxies."  
"While we're on the subject," said the only friend Daria had, "I  
bought up a lot of those stick on glowing stars. I got plenty, so   
if you like, I can sell you a hefty quota for your ceiling--I've  
already placed several on mine, and it's like sleeping under the   
stars."  
"Sounds like something Quinn would do. But I'll give it a stab.  
How much?"  
"For you, true blue, not a thing." assured Jane. "So can you  
believe that lesbianism is universal among 48% among  
teenage girls per capita?"  
"They're all cuckoo," muttered Daria. "Any girl that loves  
girls is some kind of nut."  
"Like that Alison at the art colony--she almost turned me  
into one, given half the chance."  
"I remember Alison. She sure came close to seducing you,  
if not bringing out the lesbian within you--if any."  
Jane frowned. "If you had been in my shoes, she'd  
turn you into a lezzie to a tee."  
"Wanna bet, funny gal?" said Daria. "Me loving girls?  
No way."  
Not content with just irking her friend a bit, Jane asked,  
"Does that mean you've never kissed a girl? Not in the least  
even after you kissed Tom?"  
Shooting her partner in crime her meanest look, Daria   
stated, "There is NO WAY in hell that I am going to kiss   
a girl--not even if my life depends on it, not even if I was  
drunk, not even if I was paid to do so, not even if pigs  
fly--NOT AT ALL."  
"I hear and obey, Mon Capitane. So what do you wanna   
do when school's out?"  
Thankful that the change in subject had been noted, Daria  
replied, "I know they've just opened up that new hotel with  
the giant clock tower. They say it's on its way to becoming  
the 4th tallest building in Lawndale."  
Jane was surprised. "4th tallest building? Did they say what it  
was called?"  
"The Red Barchetta Hotel."  
"We're there, girl."  
  
Inside one of Lawndale High's ladies' bathrooms, Sandi  
waited for her fellow Fashion Club minions, a copy of  
the latest issue of Waif in one hand. From the hallway,   
the sound of Lawndale High's wall speakers, came the  
voice of Charles "Upchuck" Ruttheimer III broadcasting  
the school's radio program show:  
"Helllllllllo, all you dudes an' dudettes in Lawndale High.  
Have I got a tune for all you gals that were born to be--  
rrrrrrrrrrrr, fiesty--Jill Sobule doin', I Kissed A Girl."  
  
Jenny came over and told me about Fred,  
"He's such a hairy behemoth," she said.  
"And dumb as a box of hammers,  
But he's such a handsome guy".  
And I opened up and told her about Larry,  
And yesterday how he asked me to marry.  
I'm not giving him an answer yet.  
I think I can do better....  
  
One by one, Sandi's fashion drones--Quinn,  
Stacy and Tiffany--entered the bathroom.  
"So, Sandi, what's the big dire dilemma?"  
said Quinn.  
"And why you called an emergncy meeting?"  
said Tiffany.  
"And why you said it was a state of   
emegency?" said Stacy.  
Opening her copy of Waif, Sandi stated dramaticlly,  
"It's THE MOST dire moment in our long history. I,  
like, just got my latest issue of Waif, and, suddenly,  
there was a major article on lesbians; according to  
the report, lesbianism is universal among 48% among  
teenage girls per capita. It's even worse in Lawndale's  
teenage girl community."  
"EW!!" said Stacy. "And you think there may be some in  
Lawndale High?"  
"Brr," said Tiffany. "Lesbians in Lawndale.......it's SO WRONG."  
  
So we laughed, compared notes....  
We had a drink; we had a smoke,   
She took off her overcoat....  
I kissed a girl.  
I kissed a girl.  
  
"Just a moment!!" said Quinn. "You don't think there may be a  
lesbian in The Fashion Club?"  
"I hope not," said Sandi. Even so, her eyes still drifted from  
one girl to another. "And yet, I still ain't convinced."  
"It can't be me!!" said Stacy. "What girl in her right mind would  
love a crybaby like me?"  
"Can't be me, " said Tiffany. "People say I am so clueless and vapid."  
"Well, it sure couldn't be me!!" said Quinn. "Not with all the guys I   
date!!"  
"You don't know that," said Sandi. "I bet you're a bi on the side,   
meanin' you love both girls an' boys. And I wouldn't doubt it, huh,   
Quinn? You're S-O---------beautiful, you could make.....sigh.....  
anyone, girl or boy melt, with your long red hair, your sweet mouth,  
those entrancing brown eyes, your enticing face, and your gorgeous  
body......."  
  
She called home to say she'd be late.  
He said, he worried but now he feels safe,  
"I'm glad you're with your girlfriend,  
Tell her 'Hi' for me."  
Then I looked at you,  
You had guilt in you eyes,  
But it only lasted a little while.....  
And then I felt your hand above my knee.  
  
"Now THAT I wouldn't doubt," said Quinn. "But what of you? You're  
just as sexy and gorgeous as me----and YOU never had a boyfriend."  
Her eyes narrowing, Sandi demanded, "QU-INN, you casting asparagus  
that I may be a lesbian?!?"  
"Well, I don't know.....There's a lot 'bout you that neither me, nor Stacy,  
nor even Tiffany know of....."  
"And you're saying to that effect, that I never even kissed a girl?!?"  
Quinn mulled over that before saying, "No........but the thought did  
cross my mind......"  
"Sandi never kissed a girl......," said Tiffany. "Imagine that."  
"Hooboy.......!!" said Stacy.  
  
And we laughed, at the world.  
They can have their diamonds,  
And we'll have our pearls.  
I kissed a girl.  
I kissed a girl.  
  
"So, like, I never kissed a girl, big deal!!" said an irate Sandi.   
"All right....I'll bet that I CAN kiss a girl, here and now. Better  
still, to ante up the challenge, I'll bet my eyeshadow that I  
can kiss the first girl that steps in here."  
"But Sandi.....," said Tiffany, "not every girl here may be.....  
well, you know."  
"And what if you get sent to Ms. Li's office?" said Stacy.  
Sandi thought it over before replying, "Then it'll be a small   
price to pay for winning the bet. Agreed?"  
"Everyone knows you don't stand a chance," said Quinn, "but  
let's give it a stab. You got yourself a bet."  
"AAAA-MEN!!" said Stacy and Tiffany.  
But even so, Tiffany then turned to Stacy and murmured, "I  
got a bad feeling 'bout that...."  
"Poor Sandi....." said Stacy. "She's asking for trouble."  
Stacy was so right.......for outside, a few yards up the hallway,   
Daria and Jane were heading down that way.  
In fact, they entered the bathroom--and right before the surprised   
Fashion Club. In fact, you can imagine their shock upon seeing   
Daria and Jane enter.  
"Oh-oh," said Jane. "I sense trouble in paradise."  
"A close encounter of the Fashionista kind," agreed Daria.  
"Let's head to the next land of the talking toilets."  
So Daria and Jane started to depart--  
--and Sandi called out, "Daria, wait."  
Surprised, Daria asked, "Now what? Don't tell me you spotted  
some Fashion Don'ts on me and Jane?"  
"It's more than that," stammered the brunette. Then, turning  
to her friend Quinn , she hissed to her, "Quinn!! Don't you know  
THAT is your geeky, brainy unpopular sister? And I should  
kiss HER?!?"  
"Th-think I don't know that?!?" said the redhead. "I don't like it   
any worse than you do--but you DID say you'd kiss the first   
girl that entered here--and Daria was the first."  
Sandi was agahst. "Must I........?"  
"A bet's a bet. For the sake of not only The Fashion Club, but  
for Stacy and Tiffany."  
For Sandi Griffin, it was a no win quandry. It was bad enough  
to kiss a girl to prove her bet with Quinn, Stacy and Tiffany,  
but the idea of kissing Quinn's geeky unpopular cynical sister,  
a. k. a. Daria was even worse. Her darkest hour. And right  
there before the rest of The Fashion Club. And the   
brunette was torn. If she backed out, she would lose the bet,  
not to mention her reputation. But if she kissed Daria,   
she'd never hear the end of it not only from the rest of  
The Fashion Club, but also from the other popular and snobby  
and cliquey communties of Lawndale. Worst still, it might sever   
the ties twixt her and the only friend she had--Quinn, who would   
rightfully never forgive the brunette, when it came to her best  
friend kissing her sister.  
Shaking her head in despair, Sandi muttered, "What did I do to  
deserve such a fate?" From there, she cupped Daria's surprised   
face and said, "Like, forgive me, Daria.......I hate what I've got to  
do, but I can't go back on my word to The Fashion Club--even if it  
means risking my reputation."  
"I take it you made a bet with them," said a nervous Daria.  
"Yup."  
Behind her, a quizzical Jane asked, "Hey high an' mighty Sandi The Griffin,  
what chuu got in mind for my friend here?"  
In reply, Sandi dredged all her remaining courage....before placing a big kiss  
on Daria's mouth--to the shock of Jane, Quinn, Stacy and Tiffany. And  
Daria as well.  
  
I kissed a girl, her lips were sweet  
She was just like kissing me  
I kissed a girl, won't change the world  
But I'm so glad, I - I kissed a girl!!  
  
"Yipe!! I can't look!! EW!!" said Quinn.  
"Oh my, oh me....!!" said Stacy.  
"Unbelieveable.....!!" said Tiffany.  
"Momma, hold my hand!!" said Jane.  
At first, the feel of kissing another girl, Quinn's sister, a geeky   
unpopular brain, felt revolting, but for Sandi, it felt so good, like kissing  
a silken pillow, a sweet fruit, while the heightened sensations it brought  
stirred her whole body to a peak level passion from within.  
  
And we laughed, at the world.  
They can have their diamonds,  
And we'll have our pearls.  
I kissed a girl!!  
For the first time,  
I kissed a girl!!  
(And I may do it again!!)  
  
For Daria, the feeling of another girl--not to mention Sandi, the   
egotistical, snobby, cliquey, narcissistic head of The Fashion Club,  
and Quinn's best friend--that felt atfirst repulsive, so it was no  
wonder that the auburn cynic was trying to pull away, beating her   
fists at the brunette, who not surprisingly refused to let go, much  
less stop. But even so, not even a cynic like Daria could resist the   
overwhelming feeling of kissing a girl. Not since that first kiss with   
Tom Sloane, who was at the time, Jane's beau, had the auburn felt   
so high on emotion, her body tingling all over, feeling passive, wanting   
to fall limp and drift into a vast fog bank, high above the clouds.   
There WAS one difference--while Tom's way of kissing was muscular,   
Sandi's was soft and sweet, with the taste of strawberry, like dew   
on rose petals. As such, despite herself and her better judgement,   
Daria found herself kissing back, almost drawing herself close   
to the Fashion Club brunette.  
  
I kissed a girl!!  
I kissed a girl!!  
  
  
I kissed a girl; her lips were sweet,  
She was just like kissing me.  
But then; I kissed a girl,  
I kissed a girl.....  
  
  
  
Kissed a girl, won't change the world,  
But I'm so glad,  
I kissed a girl!!  
Kissed a girl....  
Kissed a girl....  
  
All so soon, it wasn't until Daria and Sandi came back to  
their senses, and broke off the kiss, stepping back, their  
faces almost in shock. Quinn was shaking her head in  
disbelief, Tiffany was muttering, "Oh, wow.....", Jane  
was half surprised and half amused and Stacy had her  
eyes stretched as wide as two wheels. Finally Sandi   
pulled herself together, went to one of the sinks, pulled  
a traveler's bottle of Listerine, gargled, then turned to  
the others and demanded, "Well?"  
"I wouldn't've believed it if I hadn't seen it," said Tiffany.  
"WOOOO-------------OOOOW....!!" said Stacy. "You won   
the bet...."  
"Oh boy.....!!" said Jane. Then turning to her partner in crime,  
she asked, "Hey Daria, how's if feel to kiss a girl?"  
In a trance like way Daria replied, "What a long strange trip  
it's been." Then shaking herself out of it, she went to one of  
the sinks and gargled and washed her face before saying to   
Jane, "Did I.....?  
"Yup," said the artist.  
"Shades of Jill Sobule--I kissed a girl...."  
Staring at the least of The Fashion Club's members, Sandi   
spoke crisply, "OK, I won the bet, so you two hightail it to the  
cafeteria, and save me and Quinn a table!! Get going!!"  
Nodding in reply, Stacy and Tiffany headed out the door  
before Quinn turned to her friend and asked, "You OK,  
Sandi?"  
"Couldn't be better, Quinn," was the reply.   
"Sandi......I just couldn't believe you went through and   
kissed a girl, not to mention my cous--er, my sister."  
"Neither did I."Then, giving the redhead her most strictest   
look, the brunette added, "Like, as of right now, I am calling   
for another state of emergency. Now that we got what we   
came for, I want you, Tiffany and Stacy NOT to breathe a   
word regarding what just went on here. I've got reputations   
to protect--not only for me, but also for The Fashion Club.   
Understood?"  
"Absolutely," said Quinn. "I'll get it through to them."  
"Fine." Then turning to Daria and Jane, Sandi said, "And   
that goes for you too. Like, I got a reputation here, and   
the last thing I want is to lose it."  
"We hear and obey, O most exhalted potentate," said Daria  
in her deadpan way.  
"OK, boss," replied Jane.  
Nodding to each other, Sandi and Quinn left the bathroom--  
though not before the brunette turned to the auburn cynic  
and said, "Like, I didn't think brains like you could kiss."  
As soon as they could, Daria and Jane went to each one's toilet stall.  
  
Little did Daria and Sandi know that even while they acted like the  
kiss they shared never happened, their troubles were far from over.   
For in kissing each other, they had triggered long hidden passions,  
if not the lesbian, if any, within themselves. Two girls, with   
two different lifestyles, two different ways of life, and two   
different personas, as well as two different reputations.  
One cynical, brainy and unpopular, and one popular, shallow cliquey  
Princesslike stuck up diva. For Daria Morgendorffer and Sandi Griffin,  
far worse was in the works for them.........  
  
Many hours later, Daria, Jane and Tom were standing on Dega St.,   
observing Lawndale's 4th wonder--the 30 level (story) white stucco  
and plaster high rise building known as The Red Barchetta Hotel.  
Its base spanned four city blocks, there was a fountain located   
between the steps that led to the main entrance, but the main  
attraction was understandably the clock tower itself; its roof, made of  
Spanish tile roofing, showed one huge bell, surrrounded by a series of  
carillon bells. The clock face, on all four sides of the tower, had normal,  
NOT Roman, numbers done in a University type font, with wrought iron like  
clock pointers, and, in the upper part of the inner circle of the face, was a  
second hand, in its own face, counting down the seconds, just like on a  
grandfather clock type face. Across the front of the concrete canopy  
which was over the driveway and the main entrance, were the words in  
colored neon, on a black background: THE RED BARCHETTA HOTEL.  
Not surprisingly, the hotel stood across the street from The Zen,  
where Daria and co. stood.  
"What do you think, Daria?" asked Tom.  
"A bona fide Michelangelo," replied the auburn cynic, "and I don't mean  
the turtle."  
"I'd like to see any giant monkey climb THAT building," said Jane,  
laughing.  
"It took a lot of money to build that, and just to prove," said Tom,  
"that even Lawndale can rate a high riser building. You should hear  
the carillon bells; they play a great Whittington melody."  
"Turn again, turn again, Lord Whittington, Mayor of Londontown,"  
said Daria.  
At that moment, Brittany, Kevin, Jodie and Mack came on the scene.  
"Well, if it ain't the four skinnies," said Jane.  
"Ha ha, Jane," said Brittany. "So, what do you think of the new hotel?"  
"It's got to be THE coolest building, anywhere in Lawndale, don't you think,  
Michael?" said Kevin.  
"Michael?" said a surprised Mack. "What ever happened to Mack Daddy?"  
"You told me not to call you that, bro."  
"Well, at least NOW you're showing sense."  
"Hey, that clock's ready to strike," said Jodie.  
It was true. The second hand was counting down the seconds, and then  
it hit the number 60 (or was it 00?), and at the same moment, the  
hour hand touched the number 4. Instantly the carillon played the full  
Whittington melody before the huge bell rang out four times.  
That was when Trent, Jesse, Nick and Max, a. k. a. The Criminales,  
a. k. a. Mystik Sprial, along with its newest member--and Trent's babe--  
Monique arrived on the scene and were booing and hissing at The Red   
Barchetta Hotel.  
"Hey, don't be a sour ball," said Jane. "For a high rise building, it's a work of  
art by my standards."  
"Why do you think we're sour balls?" said Trent. "That hotel just got rid of  
another piece of the old neighborhood."  
"I liked it better when The Kaboom Fireworks Factory," said Jesse, "used to   
be there."  
"That sucks," said Monique. "I loved the explosions from that place each   
time someone there made a goof. WHOOMP-WHOOMP!!"  
"Those firecrakers ruled," said Nick.  
"So did their Roman candles," said Max.   
But while the Mystik Sprial bandmates were bemoaning progress, Daria  
was in a reverie.....for ever since she and Sandi kissed, she hadn't, from   
time to time, been able to get the memory out of her mind. The feel of  
kissing another girl, the feel of a girl's mouth, the silk, sheer creamy feel  
of Sandi's mouth, her long jasmine scented brunette hair.......and the fact   
they had pulled close, their bodies almost touching. So it was no wonder that  
Daria felt hot and flushed----until she heard Tom call out:  
"Daria? Hey, Daria!!"  
Shaking herself out of her trance, the auburn said, "Huh? What happened?"  
"What happened?" said Tom. "You looked like a zombie."  
"I did?"  
"What you do," said Jane, "step into The Twilight Zone?"  
Before Daria could reply, a woman in a skirt and blazer stepped foward--  
and it turned out to be her favorite aunt, Aunt Amy Barksdale. "Daria!!"  
she said jovially. "How's my favorite niece?"  
"Couldn't be better," replied the auburn somberly.  
"Oh, what's wrong? Did your mother try to bribe you again?"  
"No, let's just say I had a bad day. So what brings you here?"  
"Believe it or not," said Amy, "I got a job--desk clerk and part time  
concierge Amy Barksdale--" here, she gestured at the hotel--" of The  
Red Barchetta Hotel, at your service."  
"You work at that hotel?" said Jane. "How come?"  
"For one thing, it could be just the place to date a fellow--and there's   
plenty of them there at the hotel......who knows?" Then turning to  
Tom, she said, "So that is the boyfriend you've been talking of to me right?"  
"Yup," said Tom. "Name's Tom Sloane." He shook Amy's hand.  
"Amy Barksdale, Daria's aunt and part time confidante."  
For Daria, it was good fortune that her aunt and her boyfriend got along  
well. When Amy started to depart, she said to her auburn niece, "Listen,  
I got to get back to work and snare a hopeful fellow, but if you and/or your   
family need anything here at the hotel or whatnot, feel free to call me."  
"Uh......sure," said Daria. "Thanks again."  
  
As luck would have it, Daria reached home ahead of Quinn, Jake and Helen.  
Once there, Daria showered, dried and dressed before her sister and her   
folks came home, one by one.  
For the rest of the day and the night, everything went well, Jake ranting  
over his pop and military school, Helen talking over a day in the life with   
a case she worked with Eric and Quinn doing her fashion and dating ramblings.  
But for Daria Morgendorffer, that day was a strange one at that when it came   
to the feelings she had--for something else..... And the auburn hated it, didn't like it   
and most of all, DIDN'T want it at all. And yet........  
Why did she have those feelings? And just because of one kiss? Just one bet?   
Why didn't Sandi call off the bet? For that matter, why didn't she kiss Quinn?   
For the moment, the auburn was puzzled over why that happened.  
  
And then late at night, the nightmares came.  
  
Ye gads!! Daria and Sandi, the most unlikely two, kissed each other!!   
What could result from that?!? True, Daria and Sandi would NEVER   
do that, but even so, what if there WERE hidden feelings stored within   
themselves for years, until a quirk of fate triggered them?. And what far worse   
awaited them? The fact that Daria and Sandi were of different worlds....could it be?   
Though they were the most unlikely sort that would NEVER, in any shape or form,   
be in some kind of love. Yet behind the cynical and stuck up masks they respectively   
wore, they were women none the less. And what if, be it an alternitive universe or the   
universe as we know it, something like that was discovered? A hidden talent or passion?   
Who knows?  
  
Next: 2: On The Second Day (Yes I Am)  
  
--Ronin. 


	2. Yes I Am

2: ON THE SECOND DAY (Yes I Am)  
  
But then, Daria wasn't the only one with nightmares--so was Sandi.   
  
Sample and Hold  
Hair: Blonde  
Eyes: Blue  
Weight: 110  
Disposition: Even  
Mood Code: Rotary Adjustable  
  
Right now, the brunette had long since dozed off, when she dreamt  
that she was in one of the hallways of Lawndale High, when Quinn,  
Stacy, Tiffany, Jodie, Mack, Brittany, Kevin, the 3 J's, and the cheerleaders  
were teasing her with, "Sandi and Daria, up in a tree, K-I-double-S-I-N-G,"  
before following it with raucous laughter.  
"Stop it, all of you!!" protested Sandi. "Before I kick your sorry butts after   
school!!"  
"Sandi's got a girlfriend, Sandi's got a girlfriend," chirped Brittany in a sing  
song way.  
"Scram, Ms. Eepmeister!!" roared the brunette. "I ain't got no &^$*%@#  
girlfriend!!"  
"Oh, yes you do," said the cheerleader, using a baby voice. " and her  
name's Daria, oh, she's CU---------TE!!"  
Jumping up and down in a rage, Sandi stated, "You're all cuckoo!! Just  
because I kissed a geeky, brainy unpopular girl just to win a bet, that  
don't mean I love her!!"  
  
I need a unit to sample and hold  
But not the angry one  
A new design, new design.  
  
I need a unit to sample and hold  
But not the lonely one  
A new design, new design.  
  
I need a unit to sample and hold  
But not the lonely one  
A new design, new design.  
  
Sample and hold.  
  
That was when Daria arrived on the scene, and said, "Hey Sandi."  
Turning to the auburn cynic, the brunette said, "Hello, precious."  
From there, she went to Daria, and the two held each other while   
they kissed.  
"Whoo-hoo, go Daria and Sandi!!" cheered Jane.  
That was when the crowd chanted, "Sandi loves Daria!! Sandi loves Daria!!"  
  
Bolting upright on her bed, Sandi shrieked, "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"  
It was night, with the sweat on her face. Was it Daria? Her? Impossible!!   
That bespecticled auburn haired geeky brain was the last girl she'd be   
in love with, much less kiss.  
  
We'll send it out right away  
Satisfaction guaranteed.  
Please specify  
The color of skin and eye  
We know you'll be happy.  
  
Don't hesitate to give us a call  
We know you'll be satisfied  
When you energize  
And see your unit come alive  
We know you'll be happy.  
  
That kiss. It all started with that kiss.......all on account of that stupid bet.  
Well, that, along with her prideful bragging boasting ways, which she  
had been brought up, by special arrangement from her mother, Linda.  
All because of her bragging that she'd kiss the first girl, the troubles  
began. Why didn't she challenge Quinn, Tiffany or Stacy to kiss her to win  
the bet? Why Daria? True, Sandi had read of the stories of how the teen  
girls of camp and of high school would take such a dare similar to what  
she had gone through--and did just that--in Waif. Even so, since that  
kiss, the brunette hadn't been able to get the memory out of her mind.  
That was when the fact came to her out of the black------Sandi Griffin  
was a lesbian. In fact, since she was born, she had liked girls. But it wasn't  
until when she first enrolled into Lawndale High, when she first formed  
The Fashion Club and when Daria and Quinn first came to Lawndale, that   
her love for girls came of age. Which made her that part of the 48% per   
capita of Lawndale's teen girl population.   
  
I need a unit to sample and hold  
But not the lonely one, the lonely one, the lonely one  
Sample and hold.  
Weight: 110.  
  
Perfection in every details  
Fabricated from the curl of the hair  
To the tip of the nail  
Because our units never fail  
We know you'll be happy.  
  
Heading to the bathroom, Sandi pondered those discoveries--and   
wondered. But there was still a lot of blame to place on--Quinn,   
Stacy and Tiffany for egging her on and prompting her to make that bet,   
Daria for arriving at the worst place at the worst timeand her mother   
Linda for making her an egotist and a pawn, just for her own gains in   
competing against Helen Morgendorffer, along with herself   
for allowing her boastfulness to get the worst of her. At one point, the  
brunette could imagine a livid Helen shout at her with, "You %@#*$&^  
lesbian!! You've ruined my daughter!!" Now THAT was something to   
compound the Morgendorffer/Griffin war even worse.   
Scowling in the mirror, Sandi muttered, "Hang you, Quinn. Hang you,   
Stacy and Tiffany. Hang you, Mom. Hang me, for that matter. And hang   
you too, Daria......."  
Daria.......  
  
I need a unit to sample and hold.  
  
Don't hesitate to give us a call  
We know you'll be satisfied  
When you energize  
And see your unit come alive  
We know you'll be happy.  
  
But if she hated kissing a brain, then why had she liked kissing Daria?  
Maybe because it WAS her first kiss, even from another girl.  
And if the auburn hated kissing another girl, much less a popular and  
shallow one, why did she kiss back? Was Daria secretly a lesbian in  
spite of her relationship with Tom Sloane and didn't know it? Was  
she bi? For someone that kissed back, Daria kept her feelings  
hidden afterwards.  
  
I need a unit to sample and hold.  
  
We know you'll be happy 110  
We know you'll be happy  
We know you'll be happy.  
  
But not the lonely one  
A new design, new design  
Perfection in every detail, new design  
Sample and hold.  
  
But, most important of all: was the brunette falling in love with the  
auburn cynic? Even attracted to her? Romanticlly? No. Impossible!!   
There was no way, in any shape and/or form that was likely!!   
Or WAS it........?  
Troubled by all these, Sandi could only stare in the mirror in   
frustration.  
  
Daria staggered in her sleepwear to the kitchen where Helen, in her   
blazer and skirt, was checking out her papers for her latest case.  
Glancing up at her daughter, Helen stated, "Is something bothering  
you, Daria? Seems like you didn't get much sleep last night."  
"How could I?" said the auburn. "Sandi's been trying to kiss me in   
my dreams."  
"Sandi? As in Sandi Griffin, the head of The Fashion Club?"  
"The same. I didn't think a stuck up and shallow girl like her   
had the hots for me."  
Suddenly what Daria heard next wasn't Helen's voice--but Sandi's:  
"Poor sweetie....."  
Upon turning around, she could see, Sandi dressed up like Helen,  
holding her arms out to her and crooning, "Come to mommy...."  
  
And that was when the auburn bolted up from her bed, waking  
up from such a bizarre nightmare. And already she could see a   
lot of consulting with Jane waiting for her.  
  
An irate Anthony De Martino had finished collecting test papers   
from his students after they had finished completing the questions  
on each of the papers. Right now, he checked out the first one  
before approaching Sandi, ranting on her with, "Sandi, I   
admire your well done WORK on your test, but there's only TWO  
details I should point OUT to you--for instance, in question 78,  
the ANSWER to 'who were the Presidents on MOUNT Rushmore?'  
is Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson and Roosevelt----but YOU   
wrote 'Moe, Larry, Curly and SHEMP!!' And in question 87,  
the RIGHT answer to 'WHAT did Julius Caesar SAY when Brutus  
stabbed him?' IS 'Et tu, Brute?', NOT 'Ouch, that HURTS!!' What's  
HAPPENED to you?!?"  
Her head hanging, Sandi muttered, "Oop...."  
  
Inside the cafeteria section, The Fashion Club were having their  
fare of salads and diet soda, but the fact that their brunette  
leader had nearly botched up on her test had them worried.  
"Flunking a few of the tests?" said Stacy. "That ain't like you,   
Sandi."  
"So what else is new?" said Sandi. "Anyone can have an few   
mistakes now and then, so what's the big deal?"  
"But you've always had a perfect track record when it comes  
to schoolwork," said Quinn.   
"Something's not right," said Tiffany. "Lately you've been somber  
and troubled since you kissed Quinn's sister."  
"What's with you all? Like, I don't see a Fashion Club, I see a  
kangaroo court. Anyone can have their share of mood swings now   
and then."  
"We're just concerned," said Quinn. "You're my best friend, and I  
care for you so much."  
"And I care for you too. Right now, I am trying to deal with my state   
of mind, and hopefully I'll be fine." Turning to Tiffany, the brunette said,  
"Tiffany, can you meet with me in the bathroom after lunch? I'd like your  
opinion on mascara."  
"OK...." drawled Tiffany.  
Turning to Stacy and Quinn, Sandi said, "Stacy, you and Quinn meet me   
and Tiffany for fashion coordination check before the last few classes  
after lunch, ok?"  
Reluctantly Stacy sighed, "OK. We hope you're getting better."  
"We'll meet you there then?" said Quinn.  
"Yup."  
  
After lunch, Sandi and Tiffany entered the bathroom and that was when  
the Asian drawler asked, "So what types of mascara did you bring?"  
Glancing left and right, the brunette paused before saying, "The same  
as before.......I said that to get you here, because you're the only one I   
can trust outside of Quinn, for if she found out, it would break her heart.  
As a yesperson in The Fashion Club, you trust me."  
"Uh.......I don't follow you....."  
Hanging her head in shame, Sandi spoke up somberly with, "Like, I got a   
confession to make........for all my life, I am a lesbian, a bi that loves girls."  
"You've GOT to be joking...." said a shocked Tiffany.  
"It's.......NO JOKE. For I don't know how long, I felt that way. When Quinn  
and her sister first came to Lawndale........Quinn was SO gorgeous......but  
her sister, for her geeky glasses wearing looks, was no slouch--that is,   
if she'd do something with her looks. When Quinn joined the club, I was   
in seventh heaven."   
"Brr. You mean you were a lesbian the whole time, and we didn't know  
that?"  
"Mmmmm-hmm. It wasn't until that article in Waif inspired me to call you   
all together to see if any of you might be like me......."  
  
But as fate would have it, the ventilation air duct system from the bathroom  
led to the exhaust stacks located on the roof of the Lawndale High building  
where right now, Kevin and Brittany were kissing big time nearby--and that  
was when the blonde bimbo heard Tiffany say:  
"So you DID think Stacy, Quinn and I were lesbians.......brr."  
Breaking off the kiss, Brittany hissed, "Sst!! Kevvy....!!"  
"What babe?" said the quarterback.  
"Listen......!!" From there, the cheerleader and Kevin crawled to the nearby duct  
just as Sandi spoke:  
"Yup.......and then Daria had to step in right after I said I'd kiss the first girl that  
came in here."  
"After all, you brought it on yourself."  
"Since then," said the brunette, "I started having nightmares, along with strange   
feelings....for Quinn's sister.......the fact that she, of all people, was my first kiss,  
I couldn't get her and the day we kissed--along with the fact that I enjoyed it--  
out of my mind."  
"No wonder you nearly goofed up on those tests," said the drawler.  
"It wasn't until, like, just now at the cafeteria, that I came to a conclusion that  
I didn't think would happen to me, nor want at all, not in my lifetime......Tiffany....  
I think I am falling in love with Daria......!!"  
Upon hearing that, Kevin blurted out, "HOLY DOG POO!!"   
Brittany on the other hand, fell on her back and was laughing her head off.  
"You......?" said Tiffany. "In love with Quinn's sister? That geeky brain?  
You've GOT to be joking."  
"Like," said the brunette, "it's no joke. And I know she must be one herself,  
hidden beneath that cynical shell she's got....!! Oh, Tiffany, I've gone   
cuckoo....!!"  
"No.......I think you've got it bad.........you're in love," said the Asian. "And it's  
S-O wrong....."  
"Anyhow.....what I just said is a secret between me and you. Understood?"  
"Understood. Safe and sound, safe as milk."  
"Whatever. Let's go."  
From there, the sound of footsteps could be heard, indicating that Sandi  
and Tiffany had departed. From there, Kevin muttered, "That sucks," before  
he turned to a guffawing Brittany who was on her knees.  
"Babe!!" said the quarterback in disbelief. "That ain't funny!!"  
"Like hell it ain't!!" giggled the cheerleader. "Sandi Griffin, the President of The  
Fashion Club, in love with Little Miss Muffet Daria?!? Gimme a break!!"  
"But you heard it, an' I heard it.......an' we STILL don't believe it......!!"  
"We'd best believe it, or not, Kevvy--just like Ripley. Poor Daria......y-you  
don't think she could be in love with Sandi.....?"  
"Sandi and Daria in love......." muttered Kevin. "Now THAT is what I'd call THE   
oddest couple in Lawndale. I betcha Upchuck must be blubberin' 'bout that."  
"Wow...." said Brittany. "If Tom Sloane learned of that, he'd be furious."  
"An' if Quinn learned of that, she'd kick their butts."  
"Amen, Kevvy."  
  
Somewhere, later in the day, near one of the busiest twin main line railroad  
tracks in Lawndale, Daria and Jane were walking alongside them, till they   
reached the double track railroad tunnel known as, according to its  
engraved writing on the concreate portal above: R. R. TUNNEL NO. 558.  
"You nuts, Jane?" said Daria, a hint of surprise. "That is a dangerous, if not a   
restricted place."  
"Why do you think we're trying to do what we got to do, quick like a bunny,  
and hightail it out of here?" said the artist with a grin.  
"Just why'd you bring me here?"  
"Did you see the film version of Pink Floyd's The Wall?"  
"As in the one starring Bob Geldof of The Boomtown Rats?"  
"The same," said Jane. "In the film, the child Pink places a bullet--" here, Jane  
produced an unmarked .357 Magnum bullet from her pocket, "--on one of the  
rails of a railroad track before the oncoming train runs over it, setting it off."  
Shaking her head, the auburn said, "Where'd you get that bullet?!?"  
"When my sister Penny came from Colombia for one of our family reunions,  
she brought with her some of her unmarked bullets and weapons; somehow,  
she forgot one of these bullets here." Holding up the bullet, the artist  
entered the tunnel till she stopped twelve feet inside.  
"Jane!!" said a shocked Daria who had followed her. "Come out of there!!"  
"Just a moment." Crouching near the right hand tracks, Jane carefully placed  
the bullet on one of the rails. From there, she said, "OK, let's go."  
Just then, Quinn's voice could be heard: "Daria!! Jane!!"   
"Now what?" muttered the auburn.  
Daria's redhead sister entered and ran up to them. "What're you two doin'   
here?!?" she hissed.   
"I was intent on asking you that." said Daria.  
"I saw you and Jane head that way. Don't you know it's dangerous in  
here? Anyhow, Daria.......I meant to tell you......if it's any consolatation  
to you, it's mine, Tiffany, and Stacy's fault for egging Sandi on to kiss you."  
"Kind of figured. Then Sandi wasn't the only one that brought it on herself."  
"Hey, here comes the train!!" said Jane. "Let's beat it!!"  
How right she was--its headlight lighting up the vast tunnel, one of the  
largest diesels, the Lawndale Universal Lines number 7000 locomotive  
was barreling down at 70 miles per hour, blowing its airhorn. Upon seeing that,   
Jane and Quinn ran out from the tunnel, and on to safety--and that was when   
they turned and saw that Daria was still in the tunnel, in the path of the   
highballing train, transfixed by its headlight, unmindful of its horn.  
"Daria!!" called Jane. "Come on!!"  
"Get off the tracks!!" called Quinn.  
And that was when the auburn DID get off the tracks, and hightailed it for   
the right hand wall of the tunnel, flattening herself against it--seconds before   
the 806 ton locomotive sped past, its wheels crushing and harmlessly   
detonatiing the bullet that Jane had placed.  
What happened next was straight out of the scene from the film version of  
Pink Floyd's The Wall; the speeding train was a hodgepodge of tank cars,   
box cars, gondolas, flat cars, auto carriers, container cars and piggy back cars,   
the wheels clicking and clacking on the rails, the heavy rumbling echoing in the   
tunnel, a whoosh of wind blowing Daria's hair--and that was when the auburn   
cynic, who was hugging the wall, closing her eyes and oblivious to the train,   
heard over the din, Sandi's voice:  
"YOU!!"  
HAD she heard it? Opening her eyes, Daria turned to the source of the voice,   
and to her surprise, saw through the gaps between the railroad cars, Sandi, at   
the other side of the tunnel's far wall, across the tracks, pointing to her.  
"YOU!!"  
No. It couldn't be. Why would Sandi be here? Was it a hallucination? Still it   
seemed so REAL........and yet the brunette called out,"You did it!!"  
The auburn couldn't believe what was happening. First the kiss, then the  
nightmares, then her inability to concentrate on her work and now that.  
"You kissed me, Daria!!"  
When the train finally left the tunnel, Sandi was gone. Trying to get her   
thoughts together, Daria picked up the crushed bullet, and staggered out   
from the tunnel, and back to safety where Quinn and Jane ran to her.  
"You OK?" said the artist.  
"DAA-RIAAA!!" shrilled Quinn. "What's the matter with you?!? You've could've  
been killed in there!!"  
Unfazed by her sister's verbal onslought, Daria asked, "Where'd Sandi run off   
to?"  
"Sandi?!?" said the redhead. "In the railroad tunnel?!? Why would she be doing  
there? Daria, you're nuts!!"  
"All I know is what I saw."  
"That couldn't be. Sandi was on her way with Stacy and Tiffany to Cashman's,  
and I'd meet them later--and that was when I saw you and Jane on your way   
here."  
"If you ask me," said Jane to her auburn friend, "you've got Sandi on your   
mind."  
""As long as it ain't love," said a puzzled Daria.  
"Well, I don't know....we DO know you've been flunking a few of today's tests,  
and we all know of your perfect record," said the artist.  
"You too, Daria?" said Quinn in surprise. "Sandi flunked several of her tests for  
today herself. It's not like her to do that--for that matter, it's not like you too   
either."  
"Me and Sandi in love....," said the auburn.  
"....is THAT possible?" said Jane. From there, The Partners In Crime joined  
Quinn in a chorus of, "EW!!!!"  
  
By the time Daria and Jane entered The Pizza King--with the opening bass  
lines of Pink Floyd's The Happiest Days Of Our Lives playing in the background  
--there was some activity happening in one corner of the place--and it was   
centered on one Charles "Upchuck" Ruttheimer III, who was bawling his head  
off.  
"Did we miss something?" said the artist.  
"Seems like Upchuck just got turned down by Cristina Aguilera," said  
the auburn.  
That was when Andrea came up to the duo and said, "Hey, did you hear the  
latest rumor?"  
"Rumor?" said Jane.  
"According to Kevin and Brittany," said the goth girl, "they overheard Sandi  
Griffin confide to Tiffany Blum Deckler, that she was in love with"--she pointed to  
Daria--"Daria here."  
"WH------------AT?!!?" gasped The Partners In Crime.  
As if to verify that statement, Jodie and Mack showed up, the former saying,  
"We thought they were pulling our leg, but they claim they definitely heard  
Sandi say it, word for word. Needless to say, the first person they told was  
Upchuck, and now, he says he is heartbroken, having lusted for you and  
Sandi." Shaking her head in disbelief, Jodie added, "Can you believe such  
a half baked story?"  
"You're saying," said Daria, "that Brittany and Kevin claim that they heard  
Sandi say she's got the hots for me? Surely you jest."  
"Who knows?" said Mack glumly. "We're living with a whole bunch of  
freakazoids when it comes to Upchuck, Brittany, Kevin and Sandi."  
Turning to her friend, the auburn asked, "What do you think?"  
"Seems like we just stepped into The Twilight Zone," said Jane.  
"Submitted for your approval," said Andrea,"When Daria Morgendorffer   
stepped in The Pizza King, she had no idea that a rumour that Sandi  
Griffin, the President of The Fashion Club, had said to her friend Tiffany,  
aka The Gal That Says A Few Words, that she not only kissed our glasses  
wearing heroine, but also fell in love with her. Rumor or real story? Who  
knows? All we know is that all may be revealed when Daria and Sandi wind  
up--in The Twilight Zone."  
Surprised by the goth girl's statement, Daria grinned her best Mona Lisa  
smirk, saying, "I couldn't had said it better myself."  
"Ditto," said the artist.  
Just then, Sandi, with Stacy, Tiffany and Quinn in tow entered, and stoliclly  
approached the auburn and boldly spoke with,"Daria, you, me, in the   
bathroom----NOW."  
Paling, Daria turned to Jane and murmured, "You don't think she's still  
teed off over that kiss?"  
"Could be," murmured the arttist. "She may also be furious over the  
rumor that Kevin The Thomson and Brittany The Taylor spread to much   
of Lawndale High."  
"Something tells me the lipstick just hit the fan." Turning on her heels, the  
auburn ran out the door, only for Sandi to follow her, demanding, "Like,  
where do you think you're going?!?"  
"To the land of hunger, where else?" was the reply.  
That was when the brunette reached out and grabbed Daria's arm,  
trying to pull her back. "Stop it, Daria, and listen to me!!"  
NO!!" said a frightful Daria, who tried to pull free from Sandi's grip.  
"The last thing I need is a run in with you!!"  
"Will you listen to me?!?"  
"No!!"  
"Yes!!"  
"No!!"  
"Yes!!"  
"No!!"   
Pulling her arm free, the auburn ran down the sidewalk, with the  
brunette coming on behind and calling out, "Daria, stop!!"  
From the door of The Pizza King, Quinn called out, "Sandi!! Come back,  
Sandi!!"  
"What're you trying to do?!?" said Stacy.  
"You're crazy," said Tiffany. Then under her breath, she added, "Crazy in   
love...."  
  
Try as she might, Daria found out the hard way she was unable to shake   
Sandi off her trail. Part of the problem was that the auburn's Doc Marten  
boots were heavy and clumsy when it came to speed. That, along with   
the fact that Daria wasn't as fit to run like Jane was. But then, Sandi's  
lithe weight (as part of The Fashion Club's requisite) and her running shoes  
had a hand in the brunette's ability to stay on Daria's tail.   
So in place after place--The Clean-Itt-Up Laundromat, up the fire escape  
and along the roof of an apartment building, a local supermarket, even  
a gas station--no matter where the auburn hid out at, there was The Fashion  
Club brunette, always taking her by surprise, and saying, "Stop it, Daria,  
and listen to me!!"  
It wasn't until Daria reached Dega Street, when she darted into The Zen,  
and into the bathroom--only for Sandi to come out of one of the stalls  
saying, "You can't run forever, Daria!!"  
Back on Dega St., the auburn ran across--and nearly causing several cars  
to collide and drivers to shout, "Hey, stupid, look both ways before you cross  
the street!!"--before reaching the other side, to The Red Barchetta Hotel.  
But then, the fact that the Morgendorffer house was in the route between  
The Pizza King and Dega St., where The Zen and the hotel were, Daria could  
had hid out at home--but then she didn't think of it. Besides, there was no   
telling if the brunette could break down the door--or worse.  
Entering the hotel, running past the vast marbled foyer and the registration  
section, Daria ran past the fountain in the center foyer, and upon glancing   
back, she could see Sandi, a yard behind her, still chasing. Ahead was a  
gauntlet of twelve elevator doors--six on the left hand side, and six on the  
right hand side--and that was when, with a boundful leap, the auburn  
skidded to a halt at the extreme right elevator on the left hand wall, and  
jabbed the up button franticlly, while the brunette was getting nearer--  
and at last, the doors opened, and Daria ran in, jabbing the button for  
the 12th floor, closing the doors, which slammed in the hapless Sandi's  
face.  
  
Safe for the moment in the ascending elevator car, Daria leaned against   
the wall. On both sides of the doors were the control panels, each with   
a complicated quota of buttons; above them, was the two color LED  
floor counter, which was counting the levels to the 12th floor. But when  
the 12th floor was reached and the doors opened, there was Sandi.  
"Like, you just don't get it," she said.  
The auburn couldn't believe it. The brunette known as Sandi Jillian Griffin  
had never been that relentless before. and now the whole farce was  
getting out of hand. Jabbing the button for the 27th floor, she said,  
"Sorry, we're all full up," before the doors seperated Daria from Sandi.  
So far, so good--but for how long? The floor counter was counting:  
23....24....25....26....27. The doors opened......and there was no one.  
No one at all.   
Breathing a sigh, the auburn started to step out--and that was when   
the brunette jumped out from behind a fake decorative bush near the  
elevator, and stated to enter.   
"Gahh!!" gasped Daria. "Leave me alone!!" She reached for the last   
button on the panel, a topmost button marked CT--short for Clock Tower;  
the doors started to close, but Sandi said, "No, you don't," before she stuck  
out her hand, blocking the doors, causing them to reopen. The safety  
feature built in the elevator on her side, the brunette stepped in the car  
before the doors could close, and the elevator was on its way to the  
last level.   
"You just don't give up, do you?" said the auburn.  
"We Griffins were born to be relentless," said the brunette.  
Glancing back at the counter, Daria could see she was getting nearer,  
for it was now counting: 28....29....30....CT (for Clock Tower). The doors   
opened, Daria ran out, and so did Sandi--who called out, "Daria, stop!!"  
--before they headed down the passage, and into a vast complex of  
gears, flywheels and the three huge weights, hanging on pulleys and  
cables in their own shafts, which powered the clock, the carillon and  
the big bell.  
  
Reaching a door at the far end of the wall ahead, the auburn opened  
it and stepped through--to the outside of the tower, dwarfed by the giant   
clock face--and perched on a five foot ledge, which overlooked the   
whole Dega St., Lawndale, The Zen, and who knew what. Needless to  
say Daria gasped at almost falling over the edge. "I don't wanna be  
remembered like that...." she muttered. "Of all the places I had to hide,  
I had to hide here--Jane'll never believe that....."   
Stepping back carefully so that she was away from the edge, the auburn  
backed up--and that was when someone spoke,"Like, now will you listen to  
me?"  
Turning 'round, Daria could see it was Sandi coming out from the door in  
the clock face.  
"We can't go on meeting like that," the auburn stated   
before she added,"Just punch me one and get it over with."  
"Like, punch you?!?" said the brunette. "You thought I was picking a fight  
with you?!? Like, no way!! All I wanted was to say that we need to talk.  
Y' see.....I've got a confession to make. Remember when we kissed the  
other day? Well......since then.......oh,what's the use?!? I love you, Daria!!"  
"WHAT?!!?" For Daria, what she just heard proved that Brittany and Kevin  
HAD overheard Sandi and Tiffany. "You can't be THAT serious, can you?"  
"Yes I am....," replied Sandi somberly.  
Suddenly, the clock's second hand reached 60, and at the same moment,  
the hour hand touched 5--and that was when the carillon bells played the  
Whittington tune, the vibrations, if not the noise, from them taking the auburn  
and the brunette by surprise; that was followed by the big bell which rang   
five times, causing the girls to stick their fingers in their ears.  
"Whoa!!" said Sandi.   
"And I thought the noise Trent and his band made," said Daria," was the  
noisiest thing in Lawndale!!"   
Seeing her chance, the auburn ran back through the door in the clock  
face, back into the tower works--just as the bell sounded its fifth strike.  
Shaking her head to stop the ringing, the brunette turned to where  
Daria was, only she wasn't there.  
"Hey, come back here!!"  
  
Back in the tower, Daria had reached the elevators, when the doors of   
the extreme right elevator opened, and Amy Barksdale stuck her head  
out and said, "Hey, Daria!! Over here!!"  
Grateful her favorite aunt had come, the auburn entered the   
car, and soon they were on their way down.  
"Thanks for coming for me, Aunt Amy."  
"Antything for my favorite niece," said Amy. "Only, what were you doing in   
the clock tower? It's a restricted section which can only be reached, using  
a keycard--wait a minute......" Spotting a keycard slot in the left hand panel,  
she pulled out a plastic card. "Well, no wonder....!! One of the staffers left  
a keycard here after the last maintenance check. Better get that back  
to them before Tachibana shreds someone's jockey shorts."  
"Tachibana?" echoed Daria.  
"Eiji Tachibana, the owner, founder and general manager of The Red   
Barchetta Hotel--and my latest boyfriend."  
Shaking her head in amazement, Daria said, "You sure know how to aim  
high when it comes to dating."  
"If I told you half the the stories 'bout the last few dudes that spent their  
money like water," said Amy, "you'd be beyond amazed. By the way,  
how's your mom and dad doing?"  
Sighing, the auburn replied, "Don't ask."  
  
The fact that Daria was Amy's favorite niece, the latter chose not to   
ask what the former was doing in the clock tower, much less press  
any charges against her. So far, the auburn had eluded Sandi for  
the moment--again; having reached the main floor, she hightailed  
from The Red Barchetta Hotel, through the forest section of town  
which was a hopeful shortcut to home. Along the way, however,   
she was thinking over what Sandi had said back at the clock tower,  
that she, the most stuck up member of The Fashion Club, was in  
love with her, of all people. Sandi Griffin. Quinn's best friend.   
Another girl. One thing was for sure, it definitely verified Brittany  
and Kevin's story.  
Had it been the kiss that started it all? Daria was puzzled--and   
worst of all, now way beyond worn out from all the running, and,   
a few yards near the edge of the forest, marked by a large oak   
tree, unable to continue. Right now, upon stopping to rest near   
the said tree,she was panting and gasping for breath--but once   
again, Sandi's voice broke into the auburn's reverie with, "What's   
the matter, Daria?"  
Against her better judgement, Daria looked up--  
--and on one of the strongest branches of the oak tree overhead,  
was the brunette, who now said, "Can't see the forest between the   
trees?"  
Already luckless, strengthless and unable to run further, the auburn  
groaned, "Oh----------no.....!!" before she fell to the grassy ground,   
on her back.  
Jumping down from the branch of the tree to the ground, Sandi  
knelt down near Daria, and said for the second time, "Like I said,  
now will you listen to me?"  
"OK, you got me," said a breathless Daria. "It was that kiss wasn't it?"  
"Yup," replied the brunette. "That, and something else--the fact that  
for all my life, I am a lesbian....even up to the day you and Quinn  
first came to Lawndale.....you two were so gorgeous, but I couldn't  
decide....which of you two was a lesbian like me--you, Quinn or   
both....."  
"And you thought me and Quinn were bi too. I had a feeling you   
were one judging from what you said to me at the clock tower."  
"What did I say to you?"  
"You said, 'Yes I am,' which is the album title of another lesbian--  
Melissa Ethridge," said the auburn, who was gradually getting her   
strengh back.   
"But there's more." From there, the brunette related to the cynic   
auburn, everything she had told Tiffany in the Lawndale High  
bathroom, from the feelings she enjoyed when she kissed   
Daria, everything. When she had finished, the auburn said,   
"Sandi, you're blowing the whole thing out of perportion.   
I couldn't be bi, let alone a beauty."  
"Maybe not a beauty on the outside, but inside, there's  
a beautiful sweet girl--and, like, a sexy one at that, just   
waiting with potential, given the right makeover from  
The Fashion Club, to bring it to the surface. But no--you  
keep any hint of beauty, let alone any passion of love,  
behind those walls of cynicism....!!" Tears were now  
streaming from the brunette's eyes and down her face  
while she sobbed, "Me, and the rest of The Fashion Club   
almost came close to flushing out that beauty hidden  
within you for that make over at the parade, when you   
and that rugrat Tad Gupty climbed onto our float!! Even  
Stacy was willing to share her scrunchie for you!! But  
YOU had to go and use blackmail on Quinn to get out   
of it!! You were my first kiss.......and now.....sob.....now,  
you prove to me that brains like you have no passion of   
love!!"   
Pitching her head back, Sandi wailed her loudest, "OH,  
DARIA, YOU DON'T LOVE ME!! JUST WHEN I THOUGHT YOU  
DID!! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
True, Daria wasn't one for sympathy, but even so, she   
couldn't stand anyone crying--not even Sandi. Getting  
up on her knees, she crawled over to the brunette and  
muttered, "What did I do to deserve it? Please let there be   
for me, a brain hemorrage." Then, she reached out and  
placed a comforting hand on the brunette's shoulder,  
and said, "Listen, Sandi, you don't have to cry 'bout it."  
"I can't help it," sobbed Sandi. "If, like, you don't love me,   
then why'd you kiss back in the first place?"  
A good question indeed....why? For the auburn, the feel  
of Sandi's rose petal mouth, the way it felt so creamy, so  
sensuous, its silk feel, no doubt from the lipstick the   
brunette used. And that was when it dawned on Daria,   
as why she kissed back, not to mentionwhy she enjoyed   
kissing another girl......the incredible  
sparks of passion flowing from those lips, and spreading  
all over Daria's body, triggering all sorts of hidden   
feelings she never knew she had. For what she felt was   
the joy of her first kiss from another girl. So if she had been   
a bi and didn't know it till Sandi's kiss awakened them....  
still, she had to be sure......even it was against her  
reputation as a cynic.....even if cost her love life with  
Tom....even if it meant hurling a monkey wrench  
into the relationship works with Jane and Quinn....  
and there was only one way--dredge out the lover  
within her......  
Already the auburn was drawn to the brunette's lovely face,  
her green eyes dewy with tears, her equally dewy mouth....  
that did it. Dredging her courage, Daria stammered, "So you   
say a brain like me ain't got no passion--but with your help,   
I MAY prove you wrong."  
"Excuse me?" said Sandi.  
Muttering a quick "Forgive me, Tom, Jane and Quinn," the  
auburn threw her arms 'round the brunette, pulled her in as close  
as she could, molding her body with hers and fully kissed as  
long and as deep on the mouth, never stopping.  
At first, Sandi was shocked, then upset, then loving the kiss  
while she soon relaxed, kissing along with Daria, as firm and  
deep and long and sweet, moaning, "Mmmmmmm," through  
her still kissing lips, closing her eyes and pulling the auburn   
even closer, and grabbing handfuls of Daria's hair.....never mind  
that she was a geeky brain, just don't let it end.....to love and  
kiss the sweet girl hidden beneath that brainy cynic facade.....  
Daria, for her part, was also relaxed, closing her eyes, moaning,  
and holding onto the brunette's hair which was fragnant with the  
scent of jasmine. It was at that point however, that Daria thought  
of something that she hadn't thought of trying with Tom, and   
chose to try it on Sandi.  
To start with, the auburn ran the tip of her index fingernail up and  
down the brunette's back and spine till she moaned through her kiss,  
till she also took to doing the same to Daria, which sent waves of  
emotion that she never thought she'd feel before--and that was when   
she stuck her tongue way deep in Sandi's mouth for a French kiss;  
needless to say, it didn't take long for the brunette to stick her tongue  
in the auburn's and entwine it with the other tongue.  
For Sandi, it was like she was flying high above the clouds in a Icarus  
like state of mind, away from the troubles of her two bratty brothers,  
her tyrannical mother, the clueless Tiffany, the crybaby Stacy, from  
the so called geeks and the pressures of The Fashion Club--and so  
forth.  
For Daria, it was like that first kiss she had with Tom, only it was much   
more intense. For that matter, she and Tom never even gotten around   
to French kissing, and now she was finally doing just that--even if it was  
coming from another girl, who was also Quinn's best friend, and the  
selfish egotistical high strung President of The Fashion Club. And it  
felt great. The whole thing was like hurtling through the same time  
warp that brought Dave Bowman and his space pod in the film  
2001: A Space Oydessy. And right now, thoughts were running   
through her mind: "I didn't think it could happen to me....not like that.  
Forget the fact I am kissing a stuck up prissy popular girl, forget those  
inane Lawndale High faculty, forget Quinn, forget my folks, forget  
even Jane, Trent, and Tom.........but, PLEASE, may the moment we   
share last....!! Please don't stop!!"  
Sandi didn't want to stop herself, wanting such a state of bliss she  
and Daria were in to last. When they finally did have to stop, they  
were panting, sweating, with their lipstick smeared,  
"Oh boy......!!" said the auburn.  
"You see?" breathed the brunette. "You could do it......and, like,  
you truly proved me wrong....."  
"Now you can punch my lights out--but wait till I take my glasses off."  
"Maybe you're a geeky unpopular brainy misery chick on the outside....  
but inside, you're something else.....!!"  
Smirking her Mona Lisa smirk, Daria stated, "Maybe you should change  
the name of your group to The Passion Club."  
For the first time, Sandi was laughing gently before saying, "I doubt it.  
It wouldn't have the right ring to it--or WOULD it?"   
Just then, Jane's voice could be heard faintly: "HEY!! Daria!! Is that you?!?"  
"Time to go," said the auburn. "If I know Jane, she'll call the hospital."  
The girls got up one their feet, and just as they were ready to part, the  
brunette asked, "When will I see you again?"  
At first, Daria thought of saying, "You got your kiss, what more do you   
want?" Instead however, she said, "Tomorrow, at the rooftop of the   
Lawndale High building, where Brittany and Kevin make out."  
Sandi paused before saying, "OK," and blew a kiss, heading off down  
the forest to rejoin with The Fashion Club while Daria crossed the edge   
of the forest and out onto the street, to rejoin with Jane.  
  
So once again, it seems that not only is Sandi bisexual, but now so is   
Daria. For a cynic, our glasses wearing heroine truly DID have a  
vast storehouse of passion hidden within, and all it took was a  
passionate kiss with Sandi to bring it to the surface. So quite  
obviously, it's only a matter of time before the auburn heroine and  
the cliquey brunette imminently take the next step.....guess   
what that next step may be. Could Daria succeed with  
Sandi when she failed with Tom? If so, how? Where? When?  
We know now that Sandi is TRULY in love with Daria......but IS  
Daria truly in love with Sandi.......? Only time will tell.......  
Oh, almost forgot--sorry it was such a long chapter, but I did   
all I could to show the details rather than tell, eh?  
  
Next: 3: On The Third Day (Strange Days)  
  
--Ronin. 


	3. Strange Days

3: ON THE THIRD DAY (Strange Days)  
  
Somehow Sandi and Daria had found the ship of good fortune,  
for they had both reached home just in time, thus staying in   
their mothers' good graces. Right now, Daria was in the bathroom  
washing off her smeared lipstick along with her face while Jane   
wrung a wet towel over her head.  
"You OK?" said the artist.  
"Couldn't be better," replied the auburn. "But next time you've got to   
teach me how to run--I think my boots need a 70,000 mile rotation."  
"It's a miracle you didn't fall off that clock tower--even after those  
bells rang your chimes. You know it's hard to believe that after   
all that useless chasing all over Lawndale, all Sandi wanted to do   
was just talk with you over that kiss. Not only that, she said she was   
a lesbian?"  
"Yup. Worse still, she proved to me that she was in love with me."  
"WHAT?!!?" Jane's cobalt blue eyes bugged out.  
"She said she loved me, because I was her first kiss. She was torn  
between me and Quinn--till that kiss changed everything."  
"Now I've seen everything--ol' S. G.'s got it bad, which proves  
Football Brain and Eep Eep The Road Runner were evesdropping."  
"I got a feeling," said Daria, who had dried her hair, "we're in for   
some strange days."  
"Boy, we're sure thankful that Sandi's not in our class," said Jane.  
"since she's a year below me and you. Can you imagine if she was   
in the same year as you, and in our class--and worst of all, with a   
crush on you? She would been behind you blowing kisses, gushing   
and making goo goo eyes at you? Not to mention stick love notes   
in your locker."  
Grinning her Mona Lisa grin, Daria said, "Griffin Girl Goes Gaga For  
Geeky Girl, coming up next on Sick Sad World."  
"EW!!!!" said Quinn, who had just stepped in the bathroom. "That is even   
worse than that half baked story Brittany and Kevin told me, Stacy and  
Tiffany!!"  
"They told you that?" said the auburn.  
"Right after you and Sandi hightailed it from The Pizza Prince--uh, I   
mean, King," replied the redhead.  
"Did she make it back home?"   
"From what she told me on the phone, she made it just in time.  
She said that all she wanted to do was just talk over that kiss you two  
did, all just to win a bet.....by the way, you two DID talk and not   
fight?" Quinn's eyebrows had just narrowed.  
"Absolutely," said Daria. "Do pigs fly?"   
"EW!!" gasped the redhead. "Pigs flying?!? Anyhow, Daria, Sandi just  
called an emergency meeting here, so--"  
"I won't fail you, Captain Kirk," said the auburn. "Me and Jane will stay  
out of your bouncy hair."  
  
But Sandi's bunch wasn't the only thing showing up that night at the   
Morgendorffer home, for Trent, Jesse, Nick, Max, Monique and Tom  
came by, and--to the surprise of Jake and Helen--took out all the padded   
walls and wall mounted rails. Then Jane stuck on the walls and ceiling, the  
glow in the dark stars, while Tom gave Daria, a fluorescent black light  
to make the stars glow. When that job was finished, Jane said, "Our   
finest hour is at hand, so prepare to be stupid--uh, I mean stupified."  
Entering the room, Helen said in amazement, "Well, that is history!!  
Daria, what made you, after so many years, finally get rid of that  
padded walling?"  
"Let's just say Jane gave me the idea," said the auburn.   
"Well, let's see the new miracle," said Jake. Then he got flustered with,   
"Where's my camcorder?!?"  
"Ok, group," said Jane. "let's blast off on the space shuttle Enterprise."  
"Go for it, Janey," said Trent.  
So the artist turned off the lights just as Daria turned on the black  
light lamp for a few seconds, then turned that off--  
--and instantly Daria's room was transformed into a vast galaxy of  
glowing stars and planets, all over the walls and the ceiling, where, in  
the center, was the centerpiece: an intricate chartlike map of the  
solar system of the planets, moons, planetary symbols and the  
orbit trajectories. For Jane Lane, it was her greatest endevor,  
and it came up trumps.  
"Incredible.....!!" said Helen.  
"Fascinating.....!!" said Jake.  
"It's your greatest triumph, Janey," said Trent.  
"Cool," said Jesse.  
"Fantastic," said Nick.  
"Beam me up, Scotty," said Max.  
"What a trip," said Monique.  
"You did it, Jane....!!" said Tom.  
"Not bad," said Daria.  
"My finest hour indeed," said Jane.  
At that moment, Sandi and her fellow Fashion Clubbers stoliclly  
entered, the brunette stating, "Like, can you stop the noise?!?  
We've got a meeting........!!" Upon seeing the stars and planets,  
she was transfixed, along with Quinn, Stacy and Tiffany.  
"Breathtaking....!!" said Sandi.  
"Did Jane do THAT.......?!?" said Stacy.  
"Just like the universe itself....!!" said Tiffany.  
"Jane, you outdid yourself!!" said Quinn.  
"Can you dig it?" said the artist. "I knew that I could."  
For a moment, the brunette stared at the ceiling map  
before turning her attention back to her fashion freaks  
and said, "Let's get it over with." From there, she and her   
Fashion Clubbers headed out the door.  
Unbeknownst to anyone, Daria, while staring at the stars,  
chanced to spot Sandi's departure, and thought, "Forgive me Tom,  
but........I....think am falling in love with Sandi......and the last   
time I felt like that was with Trent...."  
  
Returning back to Quinn's room, Sandi and co. settled down  
before the brunette--in the most sober way--said, "Anyhow, I called   
you here, for what could be the most second serious moment........y'   
see, the time's come for me to do the most unheard of first in The   
Fashion Club's history.........I am placing myself on a fashion sabbatical,   
till I can get back what I lost--my fashion state of mind."  
"WHAT?!?" said Quinn.  
"Brr," said Tiffany.  
"Oh, Sandi, you CAN'T do that!!" wailed Stacy.  
"Settle down, I didn't say I'd part ways with you!! There is no way in Hell   
I can be a president when I couldn't concentrate on important matters.  
Anyhow, Quinn, I am entrusting you as acting president, till I get back.   
Just don't lead The Club into a fashion faux pas, OK?"  
"If you say so," said Quinn. "I just wish you were going with me and Tiffany  
to Stacy's for tomorrow night's sleepover."  
"Well, the fact my folks will be out of town for two days, and my brothers  
will be at camp, I'll have all the time to meditate and pick up the pieces."  
"I hope you know what you're doing," said Tiffany.  
"Get well soon, Sandi....," wept Stacy.  
"Staa-cy," said the testy brunette, "have you no faith in me?!? We've had a  
lot of strange days here, and I don't need strange sobbers like you....."  
But even while Sandi was scolding her pigtailed friend, something else  
was on her mind--and that something else was Daria........  
  
Wednesday, the third day of the week. Say no more.  
As before, neither Daria, nor Sandi could sleep at all. But now, both had  
come to a conclusion--to take the next step that was within their minds  
and souls.  
As strange coincidences went, Helen, before heading off to work, said that  
she and Jake would be out of town for two days, finishing up with, "I hope  
you can be the girl of the house, Daria."  
"Aye aye, Captain Kirk," said the auburn.  
'Captain Kirk?" said Jake in disdain. "I thought Picard made the better captain."  
"Da-AD!!" said Quinn. "I thought the gal from Voyager ruled."  
Sighing, Helen said, "Well, I hope you can take care of everything here."  
Then upon noticing her eldest daugher's state of reverie, she asked, "Daria?  
You feeling OK?"  
"Let's just say I couldn't sleep at all," was the reply.  
"Well, it'll be quiet tonight, kiddo, with your sister staying with her friends  
and me and your mom on vacation," said Jake.  
"Uh, Jake.......," said Helen. "you sure Picard makes the better captain than   
Kirk?"  
  
Upon arriving at Lawndale High, Daria pondered over the fact that it took  
her some time to develop a crush for Tom, compared with the near thing with  
Trent and now Sandi. Right now, she was talking with Jane down one of the   
halls.  
"Thanks so much for the stars," said the auburn. "Maybe they'll settle my state   
of mind back to Grade A status."  
"Much obliged," said the artist. "But you sure looked like a zombie when you   
saw Sandi head out the door last night."  
"Stop it, Jane. How much you wanna bet ol' S. G.'s forgotten me, and is back to   
her old rotten self?"  
"Bet heavily on it."  
Arriving at her locker, Daria opened it up so she could store her back pack--  
and that was when a greeting card with fancy ornate heart patterns tumbled  
out. On the front, in the most gorgeous lettering font, was: SANDI LOVES  
DARIA.  
"You were saying?" said Jane.  
"One thing's for sure," said Daria. "At least we know she can draw just like   
you."  
"Beam me up, Scotty. There's no intelligence here."  
  
It was then that Daria remembered her meeting with Sandi atop the roof  
of the Lawndale High building; knowing the brunette would be expecting  
her, the auburn headed up to the roof before lunchtime, hoping she would  
rejoin her partner in crime at the cafeteria.   
It turned out however, she didn't need to wait so long, for Sandi came up  
behind her, clasped each hand over Daria's bespecticled eyes and said,  
"Guess who?"  
"Oh, please.....," muttered the auburn who turned to face the brunette,  
who said, "Like, you're no fun sometimes!!"  
After sharing a deep long kiss, Sandi said, "Hello, precious. Did you get  
the love note I stuck in your locker?"  
"Yup," replied Daria. "and I must say, you draw just as good as Jane."  
"It pays off when such a talent is used for The Fashion Club's dress  
designs for get togethers and stuff." Staring deeply in the auburn's  
eyes, the brunette added, "Daria........do you feel a something you can't  
explain........something impelling you....to take the next step......for the  
ultimate test of time?"  
"Like some kind of bat signal? I feel the same way....and the last times  
I felt like that was first with Trent, and then with Tom."  
"As in Trent Lane, your friend's brother? That band he is in sounds like   
a Doors cover band."  
"I said the same thing too," said Daria. "So.........supposing we're ready to   
take the next step........if we do.......how? And where?"  
"I DO know my folks will be out of town," said Sandi. "Yours too?"  
"How'd you guess? S-O---------in that case, I think I MAY know just the   
place......."  
"You do?"  
"Just........leave everything to me, and I'll break out the bat signal."  
"What?"  
"I'll call you when it's all set for tonight."  
"Tonight......," murmured the brunette. Writing on a piece of  
paper, she handed it to Daria. "Here's my cell phone number.  
I'll be at Cashman's between 3:30 and 4:00, so call me then."  
Then under her breath, she hissed, "DON'T LOSE IT!!"  
"All I can say is.......I am going to hate myself in the morning,"  
said the auburn doubtfully.  
"Just as long as you don't try to make a brain out of me," said  
the brunette.  
"Just as long as you don't make a fashion freak out of me.  
Let's get back to our respective compadres."  
"Like, so be it." From there, Sandi and Daria kissed together  
before heading back down the stairs.  
  
For the rest of the day, it was business as usual at Lawndale  
High. But after school was out for the day, Daria hightailed it  
till she reached Dega St--and The Red Barchetta Hotel. As  
luck would have it, she saw Aunt Amy at the registration desk.  
"Why hello, Daria," said Amy. "So what brings you here, besides   
your feet?"   
Looking all around to ensure she wasn't spotted by anyone she knew,  
the auburn replied discreetly, "I need a room here for tonight."  
Her eyebrows shooting up in surprise, Amy said, "What happened?  
Did you and your family have it out again?"  
"Let's just say it's more than that, and I need a place of peace to  
crash out and get my bearings, just for one night."  
"You DO know it costs $150 per night here."  
Pulling out a fistful of bills, Daria handed them to Amy who said,  
"Oh, right, I hadn't counted on all that bribe money you collected  
from your mom and sister. Well.........as a favor to my favorite niece,   
I'll see what I can do. Wait here."  
Turning to a computer terminal, Amy typed several entries then handed   
Daria a form for her to sign in, just like all the hotels. When she had   
finished, the paper was handed back, and Amy inputted that into the  
computer. That done, she said, "OK, you got yourself a room for the   
night," before handing a plastic keycard to the auburn. "Room 2112,  
on the 21st floor."  
"Thanks, Amy."  
"Anything for my favorite niece."  
Soon after that, Daria ran out, across the street, to The Zen and into a   
nearby phone booth. The fact that the clock tower had chimed 3:30  
beforehand was all the auburn needed to know. Using the cell number  
Sandi had gave her, she placed the call.  
"Like, who is it?"  
"Quinn's cousin or whatever."  
"Shh!! You're lucky I was able to break from Quinn and the others   
and hide out in the bathroom here!! So what's up?"  
Looking all around now and then, Daria said, "I got a room for tonight,  
so consider that another triumph for the ship of good fortune."  
"You know, if anyone got wind of what we had in mind, we'd be sooooo  
in trouble......"  
"Not only that, we'll hate ourselves in the morning. But then, it's no   
worse than athlete's feet and diaper rash."  
"EW!!" The brunette was a bit testy in her voice. "So, where'll we  
meet?"  
"The Red Barchetta Hotel."  
"The Red Barchetta Hotel."  
"Room 2112."  
"Room 2112."  
"On the 21st floor."  
"On the 21st floor."  
"I'll be waiting at the elevator there."  
"7:00 tonight?"  
"7:00 tonight."  
"Fine."  
  
After hanging up, Daria took a cab to The Pizza King and met  
up with Jane for their usual quota of pizza slices. For the moment,  
the furor Brittany and Kevin had caused was forgotten.  
Afterwards, it was back to the Morgendorffer house. Helen and Jake  
had just left, and now Quinn was ready to go, waiting for Stacy and  
Tiffany to pick her up, the former having gotten her driver license.  
"Just don't get yourself on a popcorn high tonight," the auburn  
said.  
"EW!!" was the redhead's reply.  
After Quinn and co. had parted, Daria got her stuff ready in her  
backpack, turned on the house alarm, locked up the place, and  
headed for the hotel.  
  
Once inside, on the 21st floor, in room 2112, which had red, white and   
gold wallpaper, Daria set down her pack and looked out through the   
window which overlooked The Zen down below. Picking up the phone,   
she placed a call to Jane, who said, "Yo."  
"It's me, Jane," said the auburn. "I'll be hiding out at the hotel till I can  
get my bearings, so I thought you should know."  
"As in The Red Barchetta Hotel?!? That posh place? How'd you--?"  
"It pays to save your bribe money."  
"Oh, right, the ol' legal tender from Quinn and Helen. Well.....take  
care of yourself."  
"Will do."  
  
After hanging up, Daria tuned into Sick Sad World, which had its share  
of fascinating stories. So far......that WAS a challenge. Which also nearly   
broke every rule in the Daria canon. But it was too late to turn back now.   
But most important, would she succeed with Sandi where she failed with Tom?  
Sandi Griffin. Quinn's best friend. Another girl. And right now, Daria wondered  
what Jane and Alison would think of all that. The time was now, for just as  
Sick Sad World ended, up overhead, the clock chimed 7:00; with that in mind,  
the auburn got up and taking the keycard with her, headed down the hall, to  
the elevator section. "Please, let it be Doomsday tonight....." she muttered.  
One second later, one of the elevator doors opened, and Sandi stepped out,   
wearing, of all things, a black and white Blues Brothers type suit, black   
shades and a black porkpie hat. With a slight grin and a nod, she followed  
Daria back to room 2112.   
Entering their room, the auburn quipped, "All hail the runner up from  
The Blues Brothers Look Alike contest."  
"Ha ha, Daria," said the brunette, taking off her hat and glasses. Then   
upon looking over the nicely decorated interior of room 2112, she   
added in amazement, "Like, HOW were you able to afford a night at  
a hotel like THAT?!? It must cost a fortune for even a brain like you!!"  
"Don't underestimate The First National Bank Of Daria Morgendorffer."  
"What?"  
"Bribe money I collected over the years from Quinn and Mom."  
"A shrewd move," agreed Sandi. "No wonder you never want to get a job."  
"Maybe, maybe not. Just think of it as free enterprise." Right now, Daria   
had just taken off the sheets off the bed and was setting up her portable  
CD player and its small speakers, while the brunette set down the back  
pack she was carrying before taking off her tie and coat. When she had   
finished, the auburn was standing before her. "You know, I'll be hating   
myself in the morning," she said.  
"You and me both. But will you still have respect for me? I got an image  
to protect for the honor of The Fashion Club."  
"To quote Pink, let's get the party started."  
  
The girls shared a kiss before the brunette pulled one of the sheets over them, while  
the auburn took off her glasses, placed them on the night stand, and turned off the light.  
"I love you, Daria," sighed Sandi.  
"I love you too, Sandi," murmured Daria, who, realizing what she had said, blurted out,  
"OOP!! Did I say THAT....?"  
"Yup." was the reply.  
Right now, all the cynic could do was drop off to sleep--but tomorrow would be a whole  
different story. For now, she wanted to sleep, enjoying the company--and love--of one  
Sandi Jillian Griffin.  
  
So it finally happened.But what's going to happen the morning after? Will it be just a   
one night last stand, or will it be a secret affair, unknown to the worlds of Daria's Sick   
Sad Bunch and Sandi's Fashionistas?So there's no guarantee that another  
chance ain't likely to occur again Who knows? But then, how long can the   
love Daria and Sandi share last?  
  
Next: 4: On The Fourth Day (Stop It, I Love It)  
  
--Ronin. 


	4. Stop It, I Love It

4: ON THE FOURTH DAY (Stop It, I Love It)  
  
Yet Daria in a way, wished what happened that night   
was all a dream, and that she would wake up, on her   
own bed, in House Morgendorffer.  
  
No luck at all. For at 6:00 A. M., the auburn chanced to   
wonder if she WAS at home.Waking up, she squinted,  
till it dawned on her she needed her glasses. Reaching  
for the nightstand, she got them on--and discovered the  
hard way she was still in room 2112 on the 21st floor  
of The Red Barchetta Hotel. Naked. The clock tower   
overhead chiming 6:00. And to top it off, an equally  
naked Sandi Griffin with her, her arm 'round Daria.  
Gently pulling free so the she didn't wake up the brunette,  
the auburn climbed from the bed and used the bathroom  
to answer nature's call and to shower. After she had dried off,  
the nude cynic headed to the window, and peeped twixt the   
curtains, observing the waking activity of Lawndale take place.  
"Please, a brain stroke," she murmured. The fact that she had   
gave new meaning to sleeping with the enemy.  
But the fact was no joke. Especially when it came to The   
Morgendorffer/Griffin war. And the war twixt the   
unpopular and the popular.  
What Daria and Sandi now had was what the Latin community  
termed as amor prohibito--forbidden love. But for what it was  
worth, that implelling force which brought them to their goal,  
had been the manifestation to....a phase, maybe? For the moment,  
Daria had no idea where to go from there, now that she and Sandi  
got what they came for. Was it worth it? Whatever the reason, she  
went back to bed--just as the sweetly yawning brunette re entwined  
her arms 'round the auburn, holding her while they kissed. From   
there, The Fashion Clubber laid her head on the cynic's shoulder.  
"Good morning, lovergirl, " she said. "I had a feeling you'd come back   
to me."  
"Something tells me I've come a long way from Quinn's cousin or  
whatever."  
Laughing gently, the brunette said, "That you did. .  
Like, you surprised me."  
"Where do we go from here?" said the auburn Word gets around   
in Lawndale."  
"I hope not. My life would be over if everyone knew that I love girls like  
you!!"  
"Tell me all 'bout it," murmured Daria, thinking over when Kevin and   
Brittany had overheard Sandi's confession to Tiffany. But that wasn't  
all--remembering that she WAS dating Tom Sloane, it occured that the  
cynic had cheated on Tom.   
Yet the fact she and Tom would be split up when they went to their   
seperate collages....  
She came out of her reverie just as the brunette propped herself on one  
elbow saying, "All that time....I didn't even know we each had a different   
side of ourselves. I never even felt that way."  
"Neither did I," said the auburn. "I didn't even think you, of all people,  
the narcisstic and cliquey head of The Fashion Club, had another side  
to you. But then, it beats getting tormented by two knuckleheads from   
Highland that were worse than your brothers and Upchuck combined."  
"My brothers, I wouldn't doubt, but worse than Upchuck?"  
"Yup. And Beavis and Butt Head were their names."  
For the third time, Sandi was laughing. "Butt Head? BUTT HEAD?!?"  
Shrugging, Daria replied, "Let's just say his mom was high on morphine  
at the time."  
"Like, drugs suck. Even The Fashion Club would think twice 'bout using  
drugs, no matter how popular they get."  
"Amen. You should see what it did to Beavis and Butt Head."  
There was a pause before Sandi stated, "Daria.....I got some confessions  
to make."  
"That you formed The Fashion Club just to date girls?" asked Daria.  
Glaring at the surprised auburn, the brunette said crisply, "Stop it, Daria!!  
Be serious!!"  
"Sorry."  
As somber as she could, Sandi said, "Like....., that day I chased you........when  
Quinn, Stacy, Tiffany and me were on our way to Cashman's, I sensed there  
was something strange when Quinn said she'd meet up later. The fact that I  
also saw you and Jane....I knew something was up, so I told Stacy and Tiffany  
to meet me at Cashman's, and followed Quinn at a distance, till she was in   
that railroad tunnel with you and your friend. When you didn't come out, I   
waited till the train came out and went inside. I saw you between the cars,   
and that was when I confronted you the best way I could. Quinn thought   
she could be sneaky, but I can be sneakier."  
"Ah......," said Daria. "Then----it WAS you, inside R. R. Tunnel No. 558."  
Sandi nodded. "I wanted to tell you then--to tell you I loved you...."  
"I thought so.....so......anything else you can relate to me on?"  
"Just one other thing...........as much as it hurts the image, if not my  
reputation, as the President of The Fashion Club, I got something, all  
joking aside, to say....." The brunette took a breath before saying the   
following words--which was a shock to the auburn:  
"I envy you, Daria Morgendorffer."  
Unable to believe what she had just heard, Daria blurted out, "WHAT?!?"  
"Like, it's no joke," said Sandi, who sounded beyond serious. "You don't know  
how lucky you can be to have a sister like Quinn."  
"Me?"  
"Yup. All I got to show for, is two rug rat brothers that play a LOT of havoc   
on me, make me at times CRY!! I never even had a sister!! Like, I WISH  
I had a sister...."  
"Brittany's got a brother that does the same stuff," said the auburn.  
"True," agreed the brunette. "For Brittany, one brat of a brother is one  
thing, but the two I got is a nightmare!!"  
"Now that I think of it, you'd think we'd get along ourselves since we're   
united by one thing." From there, Sandi and Daria said in unison:  
"Quinn."  
"Yup," said the cynic. "That ol' love/hate relationship with Quinn...."  
Sighing, the fashion diva said, "I wish we could love all over again."  
"The thing is," said the auburn, "CAN it be done again?"  
"Oh, Daria........" breathed the brunette, "I just don't care....but right now, I love  
you SO MUCH!!"  
"Whatever," said the auburn. "We've proved to each other that life is 'bout   
trying new stuff. Now let's hurry....."  
  
As soon as they could, Daria and Sandi showered, dried, dressed, packed up and  
headed for the elevator, each girl descending down in her own elevator. Once  
in the foyer, the auburn deposited her key card in the key drop box before picking   
up her bill for her stay at the desk. That completed, she went for the exit, while  
the brunette ran out a different door. Soon after that, the girls headed their own  
ways, back to their homes, got ready, and made to Lawndale High just in time.  
  
After depositing her back pack in her locker, Daria saw Jane arrive on the scene.  
"You're here bright and early," said the artist. "How'd your sabbatical at The  
Red Barchetta Hotel do?"  
"Couldn't be better, Jane," replied the cynic.  
"Oh......so your night with Sandi was great, wasn't it? "  
Jumping back as if she had been stung, Daria gasped, "WHAT?!?"  
"Take it easy," said Jane, holding up her hand and laughing. "I wouldn't   
abandon my partner in crime. I mean, Tom was one thing, but.......we're STILL  
freakin' friends." Then bursting into wild laughter, she added, "You and Sandi,   
the F.C. President, gettin' with it?!? How's that for a page of Lawndale   
history?"  
"Just as long as neither Brittany, nor Kevin, nor Upchuck, nor anyone else get  
wind of it," said the auburn meanacingly, thankful that her friend was still  
her friend.  
"Your secret's safe with me," said the artist, with a grin before she started laughing  
again. "Remember, I had a near run in with a lezzie myself."  
"Alison....but.......," stammered Daria, "how'd you......?!?"  
"How'd I know?" said Jane, who got herself back in control of her giggles. "For  
one thing, when you stuck your pack in the locker, I could smell Sandi's perfume   
coming from it. For another, why would you choose a fancy joint like The Red  
Barchetta Hotel for your solace? Only clandestine lovers would choose hotels  
for their meetings. And that bribe money you used to pay for last night--why  
else would you resort to such expense? Besides, the day before last, when you  
came out from the forest after Sandi chased you, I chanced to notice your  
lipstick was smeared big time. But the real clincher was when I came to  
the bathroom last morning and overheard you and Sandi through the  
air vents that led to the roof--right up to the lip lock. "  
"The air vents. No wonder Kevin and Brittany--"  
"--overheard Sandi and Tiffany." Again, Jane smirked.  
Sighing, Daria hung her head and said dejectedly, "OK, so you know. PLEASE  
forgive me, Jane. I don't want Quinn and Tom to know. I'll be ruined for life."  
"I said it was OK," assured Jane, who placed a comforting hand on her friend's  
shoulder. "Only where will you two go from here?"  
  
A good question indeed--where would they go from here?  
For the rest of the day, Daria knew that now that she and Sandi got what   
they came for, she could see the romance was dying out, that she was bored.  
That, plus the fact that the auburn and the brunette were of different worlds  
different lifestyles and different ways of life. Quinn notwithstanding, Sandi,  
Tiffany and Stacy (well, maybe not Stacy) hadn't been her friends at all, since  
she and her family first came to Lawndale. They may had been Quinn's friends  
but not Daria's; for that matter, whoever heard of a student in love with another   
that was a year below her? Especially someone that was arrogant, stuck up,   
egotistical and self centered. But then, Sandi was only that way because of   
her mom Linda.   
There were also reputations to protect, Daria with her cynicism and Sandi   
with her hyper bitch ways. And yet the irony was for their differences, the  
auburn and the brunette WERE united by one common thing--Quinn. Sister,  
best friend, and at the same time, some one to fight with.  
And then there was one problem: how to break up with Sandi. Knowing the  
diva's fierce temper, and her tears, the cynic was torn. Should she risk  
breaking Sandi's heart and get hurt, or be stuck in a joyless love affair?  
  
Daria had never felt so lost--and yet at the same time, so was Sandi,   
unable to decide to stop the romance or carry on.  
  
Plodding along Dega St. to meet up with Jane prior to eating at The   
Pizza King, all Daria could do was ponder her fate. Right now, she  
was walking past The Red Barchetta Hotel, when Amy broke into  
her reverie:  
"Daria? How's my favorite niece?"  
Seeing that her aunt was standing before her a yard at the entrance,  
the auburn repiled glumly, "Like someone threw a monkey wrench  
into the works of the so called Ya Ya Sisterhood."  
"Oh, what's the matter? Did your sister pull a fashion prank on your   
black skirts?"  
"It's much worse.....would you hate me if I was in love with another girl?"  
"Hate you?" said Amy. "My favorite niece? But what happened to Tom?"  
"It's a long story," said Daria somberly.  
At that moment, an Asian accented voice said, "Is that your niece you've   
been mentioning to me?"  
Turning, Daria saw a business suited Japanese man with the looks of  
Ming Tsai. "You Daria Morgendorffer? Permit me to introduce myself--  
I am Eiji Tachibana, owner and general manager of The Red Barchetta   
Hotel. "  
"And my aunt's new boyfriend."  
"Hai. Which means you're definitely her niece. It is an honor to meet   
with you, Morgendorffer san. Your aunt told me so much of your life."  
"You'd be surprised at some of the talents she's got," said Amy. "Right   
now, it seems she's in a quandry."  
Nodding in agreement, Eiji stated, "A serious matter indeed. She seems  
rather troubled, judging from the mood she is in." To Daria, he said,  
"In Japan, there is no problem that is impossible to solve. Perhaps you  
would like to stop by my office for a soda."  
"Knowing that I am sane," said Daria hesitantly, "I guess I could stand   
a pit stop."  
"What I tell you?" said Amy to Eiji. "Daria's a card."  
  
The interior of Eiji's office was half spartan and half in Japanese Shinto  
decor, yet was still businesslike, with a touch a homeyness--and it was here  
that Daria, sipping a soda, related to Amy and Eiji, the kiss she shared   
with Sandi, the nightmares she had, the incident in R.R. Tunnel No. 558,  
the chase the brunette gave her, the second kiss, the love affair she and   
Sandi had, and the problem of trying to break up with The Fashion   
Clubber.   
Indeed, to Daria's delight, Eiji turned out to be an understanding type,   
while he and Amy listened. When the cynic had finished, Amy said, "So  
all that time you thought you were bi, yet your first love relationship's  
got a lot of fizz than an Ultra Cola can and you want out."  
"Like I said," said Eiji, "a serious matter." Standing up, a cola can in hand,  
he paced the office. "The fact you don't know how to break up from that  
girl.....I would suggest you be tactful with her and tell her the truth. In  
Japan there is a saying which is identical to your 'The squeaky wheel  
gets the grease'--and that saying is: 'The nail that sticks up, gets  
pounded down.' Which means you should be honest and tell her the  
romance is over."  
"And if I do," said the auburn, "she'll scratch my eyes out. What am I  
supposed to do, say 'Stop it, I love it'?"  
"Sometimes, Morgendorffer san, there's risks we all must take.....   
what you Americans would call 'one huge explosion and get it over with',   
ne? All I can say is.....it's up to you."  
"Maybe the following story might help," said Amy. "When I was a teen like   
you, I too, also had a lesbian love affair with a friend of mine with a   
friend of mine named Trishelle. But when the thrill was gone, I was   
worried over how to break off the relationship. So I broke it to her with   
tact, and it turned out she as the understanding type. After the breakup,  
she married a man, and gave birth to a daughter, who to Trishelle's  
surprise, also became a lesbian and went to live in some independent  
colony."  
"Was her daughter by any chance," asked Daria, "named Alison?"  
Her face lighting up, Amy said, "Why yes......how'd you know that?"  
"She tried to seduce my good friend Jane some time ago."  
"Some things never change, eh, Daria? Like mother, like daughter."  
Shaking his head in surprise, Eiji could only say, "So scandal does  
run in the family. How shocking. I guess it takes all kinds."  
"So it would seem," said the auburn. "Just another day in the sick   
sad world."  
Placing aside her cola can, Amy turned to her niece, and said,   
"So it would seem indeed. Anyhow, my advice is what Eiji said--  
be tactful and break it to Sandi gently. But most important of all is:  
do what you think is right."  
  
Poor Daria--she's now stuck between the Scylla of a controversial  
love affair and the Charibdes of breaking Sandi's heart--and   
upsetting her at the same time. Who was it that said, "Don't  
make waves"? Sometimes love can be dangerous. At least   
that didn't happen between Daria and Tom--oh wait, that  
almost jeparodized her friendship with Jane. Anyhow, our  
heroine's got a tough choice to make. And how will Sandi   
react? Given her reputation as a hyper diva, it's no hype   
what she might do. But then again....  
Oh, one last thing--in case you didn't know, hai and ne?,  
they're Japanese for yes and "Ain't it so?" respectively.  
I thought you should know, minna san (that means all or   
all of you.),eh?  
  
Next: 5: On The Fifth Day (Try To Understand)  
  
--Ronin. 


	5. Try To Understand

5: ON THE FIFTH DAY (Try To Understand)  
  
"So you want out," said Jane, "yet you're in love with the queen  
of The Fashionistas. A definite Scylla and Charibdes choice, to say the   
least."  
Daria and Jane, were having their per usual pizza at the Pizza King.  
Right now, even while The Byrds' My Back Pages was playing in the   
background, the auburn had related to her friend the quandry she  
was in and her meeting with Amy and Eiji.  
"A part of me," said Daria, " wants to buy some jewery and settlle  
down with Sandi, and all in the name of love, and the   
other half wants to flee to Transvaal and hide out in their   
diamond mines. And yet, it was that kiss that showed me and   
Sandi how the other half lives......and if you  
say, 'Oh dear, our girl's becoming a woman,' I'll kick your butt."  
"You'd think I'd be stupid to do that?" said the artist. "I think  
what it is, is that you're feeling the guilt, yet you enjoy it.   
Listen, if you wanna break up the easy way, why not call The   
Chicken Breakup Service?"  
"What's that?"  
"It's a telegram service where a delivery person, dressed up   
like a chicken, delivers a telegram to one you wanna break up with.   
You could say it's one way of telling Sandi that her love's flown   
the coop."  
""Thanks but I don't think Sandi is likely to fall for that."  
"If Sandi knew she ain't the only one in love, she'd turn off of   
you, and turn on to Quinn," said Jane.   
"And that," said Daria hopefully, "could be the solution....."  
  
Time passed upon arriving at House Morgendorffer. Quinn had gone on her   
date at 6:00 P. M., and no sooner had Daria's sister departed, a knock on  
the door brought Sandi who said, "Hi, sweetie."  
"So what's on your mind? Your brothers stole your Waif collection?"  
"If they did, I'd bust their butts silly. Anyhow, since your folks and mine  
will be, like, home tomorrow, I figured we'd make our last moment here   
something to remember--under your glowing stars."  
"Under the glowing stars? Oh, you mean those glowing stars Jane did for me."  
"Yup. But first--" here Sandi's voice changed to a breathy murmur--" I got something   
you're going to love......" From there, the brunette took the auburn's hand, then the   
other one, and led her upstairs.  
  
The auburn and the brunette were at the front door. During that whole time   
however, Daria had been thinking on how tobreak it to Sandi. The fact she   
had glasses--and no one in one's right mind would hit someone with glasses--  
she hoped Sandi wouldn't punch her. Just now, the cynic started to open the   
door, when the diva reached out and took her hand.  
"Sandi, it's late," said Daria. "Quinn will be home soon, and besides, my folks  
will be home tomorrow. How's that for the latest article on Sick Sad World?"  
"I don't think I'd care. Like, I love you....and I want you."  
"Even a geeky brain like me? You know, in a way, considering that we're of  
different worlds, all it took was a kiss just to win a bet with your fellow  
Fashion Clubbers--and to see how the other half lives. Maybe we DID learn   
something from each other, who knows?"  
For the first time in years, Sandi had been somber in what she had been   
saying since that first kiss with Daria; right now, she said, "Like, who knows  
indeed? Still, I can't be a better person, just as you can't conform to what is  
popular and fashionable. Like, it's too late for me, Daria."  
"Maybe, maybe not. I can't help it if I am a cynic just as you can't help it  
if you're a diva. They're the only ways we can live in such a sick sad world,   
I guess."  
The brunette could only laugh before saying, "Oh!! You.......!!" and  
headed for the door--before she turned to the auburn and said, "When  
will I see you again?"  
For Daria, the time was now. Break it to her gently and hang the outcome,  
The Misery Chick way--so with that in mind, she said bluntly:  
"You won't, Sandi. You can't see me again. It's over between me and  
you."  
"WHAT.........?!?"  
"Please.......try to understand......it's all over."  
As expected, the brunette's face now had the meanest look, her voice  
seething with a tone that left no room for mercy. "Daria, that is so  
unfair of you, I CANNOT believe you'd do that to me, after all the love   
we shared, you hang me out to dry!!!!"   
""At least listen."  
Her face red, her voice twixt anguish and rage, Sandi growled, "Listen to  
what, you %@#*^&$ BITCH!! You said you loved me!! I went out of  
my way for you, and you don't love me?!? #%@*^$&!! Is that the  
&^*$#@% thanks I get?!?  
"Try to understand. I am an unpopular geeky brain, and you're a  
popular shallow beauty. You and your fashion drones, save for my   
sister, weren't friends of mine. We're of different classes, and   
different ages, lifestyles, along with the fact I'll be heading to  
collage soon. Besides, I love Tom, and the way I see it, now that  
we got what we came for, it's best we break it off, before it  
gets out of hand. And yet, I don't know why I still want more."  
Bunching her hand into a fist, the diva hissed "You %@#$&^*....!!"  
"You wouldn't hit a gal with glasses, would you?"  
"Unfortunately, we Griffins don't believe in superstitions." Swinging a  
fist, Sandi started to punch Daria, who jumped from its path, and  
the brunette lunged at the hapless auburn, falling to the couch,  
grabbing the front of the cynic's coat and shouting through her  
sobs: "I HATE YOU!!!! I HATE YOU!!!! I HATED YOU SINCE YOU  
AND QUINN FIRST CAME HERE, I HATED YOU SINCE YOU  
YOU WERE THAT ACTING TEACHER WHEN ALL THE OTHER   
TEACHERS WERE ON STRIKE, AND I HATE YOU EVEN TODAY,  
EVEN NOW......!!!!"  
Somehow all the vehemence turned out to be an outlet for  
blowing off steam, for in the next instant, Sandi's rage turned  
to tears, which were streaming down her face, before she flung  
her arms 'round a bewildered Daria and cried as hard as she   
could.  
"I said it before," said the auburn, "and I'll say it again--you don't   
need to cry 'bout that."  
"Oh, Daria," sobbed the brunette, "I wanted to break off from you  
myself; I was aware as you were, that it was over, that our love   
was never meant to be, that we were of different worlds....and  
that it was best that I wanted out of that affair as you did, yet   
a part of me wanted more of the love we once  
shared.........and that part is saying....that....I love you....I  
don't wanna be without you.........y-you were my first love,  
my first kiss....and to break up from that....it's sad to say  
goodby.......but what hurts me is that you broke off from me  
first, before I could tell you our romance was over."  
"What difference does it make who said it?" said Daria. "Be  
it with straight, lesbian, or even gay romances, there's a lot  
of other fish in the sea--or words to that effect. Me and Trent   
had a thing for a moment, but we became just friends while   
he got engaged to Monique. Tom used to be Jane's lover till   
he turned on to me; that almost runied mine and Jane's  
friendship, but we made up. These day's she's dating Jesse  
Moreno. Believe me, I know there's someone that loves you."  
Lifting her tear drenched face, Sandi stared at Daria before  
sobbing, "D-Daria........", only to relapse and cry sadly on the  
auburn's shoulder.  
"Listen, Sandi," said the cynic, "remember when you said   
you fell in love with me and Quinn? What if I were to tell  
you that Quinn was secretly in love with you?"  
Getting up, the brunette stared through her drying tears   
and said, "What? Quinn in love with me?"  
"Believe me," said the auburn,"it's no lie."  
"Quinn did THAT?!? You sure you didn't make up such a half  
baked tale like that, just to get rid of me?"  
"If you don't believe me, you, Quinn and your fashion drones   
meet me and Jane in the bathroom tomorrow. I think it's time  
we placed our cards on the table.If I am right, Quinn may be the  
solution."  
"And if you ain't?"  
Thinking carefully, Daria replied, "Then you got me still, despite  
the odds, plus you got the right to kick my butt with those  
fancy shoes of yours."  
For a moment, Sandi mulled over that while drying her eyes,   
then said, "Like, I'll give you a chance--but I'll enjoy the   
pleasure of kicking your butt if you're mistaken--BOOM!!"  
"Whatever," said the cynic.   
On that, the diva got up, opened the front door, and went   
out, closing it. Then, just as Daria turned to the kitchen,   
there was a knock on the door; opening it, she saw Sandi,  
who said, "Like, by the way..........thank you for everything."  
From there, she hugged the auburn before fully kissing  
her on the mouth one last time and ran down the street.  
  
After closing the door, Daria picked up the phone, and   
placed a call to Jane who picked up her phone saying, "Yo."  
"Jane," said the auburn. "It's time we move fast, and your  
help is a must for tomorrow."  
  
Friday, the fifth day brought Sandi, Quinn, Tiffany and Stacy  
entering the bathroom, where Daria and Jane stood; nearby  
was a huge tank type vacuum on casters, and a long hose.  
Behind them, the grill for the air vent had been removed and  
was near the sink.  
"OK, like what's on your mind?" said Sandi.  
"Why'd you tell me to come here?" said Quinn.  
"What's the secret?" said Tiffany.  
"And what you mean by placin' the cards on the table?" said  
Stacy.  
"Shh," said Daria "Just listen."  
Needless to say, the faint sounds of Kevin and Brittany  
smooching it up could be heard.  
"Kevin and Brittany," said Quinn.  
"In the air vents?" said Stacy.  
"Then that means they DID evesdrop.....brr!!" said Tiffany.  
"Then that means.......oh no, they overheard....!!" said  
Sandi, who now clenched her fists.. "I'll pound them  
silly!! No court is goin' to convict me!!"  
"Settle down, S. G.," said Daria. "Sure, the story they told   
is real, BUT....if you truly wanna get back at them for what   
they did, there's such a thing as the right way."  
"And which IS the right way?," haughtily demanded the brunette.  
Pointing to the vacuum, Jane replied, "See that vacuum? I just  
borrowed it from the janitor, and it's full of dust. Right now, I  
just took the hose off vacuum, and placed it on exhaust.  
Quinn, can you take the cord and plug it in that wall outlet?  
Daria, can you stand on that sink and stick the hose in  
the air vent?"  
"And how is that %@#$&*^ setup going to help me?!?"  
said Sandi.  
"Just stand by that switch on the vacuum," said the  
artist, " and wait for my signal." To Daria, who was   
standing on one of the sinks, one hand aiming the vacuum   
hose in the vent, she added, "Just follow my lead, amiga."  
"As you wish," said the cynic.  
"So, Daria," said Jane, "you're thinking of breaking up with   
Sandi, right?"  
"Yup," said Daria, in the hopes Brittany and Kevin would  
hear. "Sandi may be sweet on me, but she's way too sweet   
for a brain like me."  
As expected, Brittany could be faintly heard from the vent   
with, "That sucks!!", followed with Kevin saying, "Oh, man!!  
Daria's goin' splitsville with Sandi!!"  
Turning to Sandi, Jane hissed, "Turn on the vacuum!!"  
"With pleasure," said the brunette before she switched  
on the vacuum, which belched clouds of black coal dust  
from the hose, into the air vent; in seconds, the sound  
of Brittany and Kevin coughing could be heard. After a  
few seconds passed, the artist said, "Turn it off," and  
Sandi did just that.  
Jumping off the sink, Daria said, "Guess those jock jokers  
learned the folly of evesdropping." Then to the group, she  
added, "Everyone, listen to me. I am Daria Morgendorffer,  
local brain and cynic of Lawndale."  
"And I am Sandi Jillian Griffin," said Sandi, "the president  
of The Fashion Club, back from sabbatical.......and what  
started it all was a bet and a kiss. But, when me and   
Daria kissed, we got more than we bargined for.....we  
also learned how the other half lives,"  
After that, the diva and the cynic revealed to Quinn   
and co. the fact that Sandi was a lesbian, and her crush   
on Daria and her sister. When they had finished, Stacy  
gasped, "Y-you mean....?"  
"You're saying YOU had a crush on me?" said Quinn.  
"You're joking."  
"Who've thought?" said Tiffany.  
Hanging her head, Sandi said somberly, "It's no joke, Quinn.  
I do love you......and I want you to kiss me."  
"EEEEEEEEEEW!!!! Now I know you're joking!!"  
"Like Sandi said," stated Daria, "it's no joke.So I bet you  
couldn't kiss her full on the mouth. Like you said, a bet's a bet."  
"That was what started the whole thing in the first place," said  
Quinn.   
"Gee, Quinn," said the brunette, "if you ain't got any love for  
me, much less the courage to kiss me, you ain't got the   
potential to be vice president of The Fashion Club."  
"What do you mean I ain't?!? I'll show you!!" So saying, the   
redhead flung her arms 'round Sandi and kissed her full,  
deep and hard on the mouth; from there, the brunette  
held her friend at the waist, the two kissing gently at   
first, and then with more feeling and more intensity,  
the wave of passion enveloping them, each girl running   
her fingers through each other's hair.  
"Here we go again," said Tiffany.  
"WOOOOOOO--------------OOOOW!!" said Stacy.  
For that matter neither girl wanted to stop kissing, so   
there was no doubt they were enjoying it.  
"What do you think, Daria?" said Jane.  
"I'd say our work is done," said the auburn. "We've come  
full circle, finishing just as it started--with a bet and  
a kiss. Let's go."  
Replacing the grill back on the vent, Daria and Jane  
took the vacuum, hose, cord and all and exited the  
bathroom--just in time to see. Brittany and Kevin   
shake the black soot and dust from themselves.  
  
"Who was it that said an elephant wedding wouldn't   
work out? Pachyderms pledge their love before the  
altar, next on Sick Sad World!!"  
Laying on the bed inside Jane's bedroom, Daria and   
her partner in crime were checking out the boob   
tube for their fave show. In the distance, the bell  
tower of The Red Barchetta Hotel could be heard.  
"So it seems your sister patched up Sandi's heart in   
no time," said Jane.  
"Yup," replied Daria. "Which means ol' S. G.'s back to her  
old spoiled self. Now I can make up for lost time with   
Tom, till it's time for collage."  
"So I guess all worked for the best. Too bad it was Sandi   
and not me that could've made all that fantastic love."  
"Oh, Jane, don't tell you wanna kiss me? That was what  
started the whole thing in the first place."  
"Why not? Seeing you and the diva queen got me  
wonderin' what it's like to kiss you."  
Just then there was a knock on the door; upon heading  
down the stairs, Daria and Jane, to their surprise, saw  
The Fashion Club--with a white flag attached to a stick in   
Sandi's hand.  
"Now I know I wish I had my camcorder," said the artist.  
"You snooze, you lose," said the cynic.  
  
Inside Jane's bedroom, Daria, Jane, Stacy, Tiffany, Sandi  
and Quinn were in a group.  
"So what brings you fashion freaks, of all people, to Casa   
Lane?" said the artist.  
"As much as it hurts the reputation of The Fashion Club,"  
stammered Sandi, "we came to say........thanks for   
everything.....and to your friend Daria for setting me up  
with the one I was meant to love--Quinn." From there, she  
kissed the redhead's cheek.  
"And," said Quinn, the redhead, "for making my dreams of  
loving Sandi."  
"And, " said Tiffany, "for revealing the fact that me and Stacy   
were born lovers."  
"Oh, no!!" said the auburn.   
"Don't tell me you--," said the artist.  
"--now love each other," said Stacy. "Seeing Sandi and Quinn  
kiss kinda sparked our curiousity, so me and Tiffany tried  
to kiss each other--and we loved it!!"  
"Who was it that said," said Sandi in her stuck up way,  
that it couldn't be any of you girls?"  
"Seems like," said Daria, "Lawndale's teenage lesbian  
community just jumped up to 52%."  
"Better make that 54%," said Jane. Turning to her   
friend and cupping her face, she said, "Kiss me,  
Daria."  
"Oh, no, Jane!! Not you too!!" squawked the cynic.  
"Gee, Daria," said Quinn. "A bet's a bet, you know."  
"Besides," said the artist, "if Sandi and co. can do it,  
so can we."  
"Et tu, Jane? "  
"Well........why not?"  
"One of these days, Jane....." The rest of Daria's words   
were lost in the big deep intense kiss she and Jane shared  
--and it was a french kiss, no less.   
"You were saying?" said Jane.  
"I only hope," said Daria, "that Tom, Trent, Jesse, Amy and   
Tachibana san take notes."  
Nearby, Sandi said, "Daria.......you were right.......I don't  
need you, when I got someone that truly loves me."  
"And that someone is me," agreed Quinn.  
"I could've told you that," the cynic said.  
"You know, Sandi," said Quinn, "the fact my sister   
paired me and you together, I think that SHOULD be   
rewarded, don't you think?"  
"Absolutely." So saying, Sandi came over to the left side  
of Daria while Quinn did the same, on the right side.  
From there, the brunette and the redhead kissed the   
auburn, Sandi kissing the left face cheek, and Quinn  
kissing the right.Needless to say, Jane was laughing at  
that.  
"Just another day in the life of Daria Morgendorffer,"  
said the cynic. "part time cynic lezzie and one half  
of the brain and the beauty."  
  
OWARI (THE END)  
  
EPLILOGUE & ENDNOTES  
And there you have it--the end of The Brain & The  
Beauty. Sorry it was such a long chapter, like chapter 2,   
but I had to tie all the loose ends. Thanks to Quinn,  
Sandi was able to patch up her broken heart. And  
Daria and Jane were able to join the ranks of  
Lawndale's lesbains (ditto for Stacy and Tiffany).   
Let's hope they get back to Tom and Jesse soon!!  
I chose Daria and Sandi for the pairing, because next   
to Quinn, Stacy and Jane, Sandi and Daria were my favorite  
characters. One may wonder if I had allowed the Sandi/Daria  
romance to continue unscathed, but I doubt it.  
Originally, the story title was The First Five Days, but it  
was Martin J. Pollard, of Outpost Daria, who first coined  
the line, "the brain and the beauty", so that stuck. A  
much better title, to say the least.  
As you can guess, the story takes place before Is It  
Collage Yet?  
The origin for the name of The Red Barchetta Hotel  
came from a tune titled Red Barchetta, by the  
band Rush, so please forgive me. Ditto for the  
R. R. Tunnel No. 558 sequence; that was in homage  
of the similar scene from the film version of Pink  
Floyd's The Wall. Just a spur of the moment.  
I Kissed A Girl seemed fitting for Sandi and Daria's  
first kiss while Neil Young's Sample & Hold  
illustrated that Sandi needed someone to love.  
Peace out.  
  
--Ronin. 


End file.
